"It's Just Sex...!"

Wow, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me, I would be very wealthy woman. The number of times I've heard that is equivalent to the number of times Miley Cyrus has been caught sticking her tongue out like a dying dog- almost infinity. Hello readers, fellow bloggers and those who happened to stumble across my page while keying in "sex" on Google! Today's post deals with something that has transpired from being a taboo issue worldwide to a normality. Sex. Sex was regarded as a sacred act that was to be committed between man and wife ONLY and now it's something that almost 70% of the world had done when they were in high school. High school? Jeez! Back in high school the only thing that got me worried was whether Mr Francis (our sadistic, semi-Nazi Maths teacher) would be in a good mood that day. Or whether I could save just enough money to buy that tank top from MissWhatever at the mall. Sex never crossed my mind at all (doesn't make me a dyke at all, ok?).  Alarmingly, the demography for the most sexually active people has dropped to teenagers being the most sexually active people on the planet.

Instead of that, girls and guys are more worried about losing their virginity before they graduate from high school. Anyone who is still a virgin would be the school's social pariah. Forever. I shit you not, I've actually asked one of my sister's friends about their goals in life after high school and she answered, quote, "I wanna get a job and be really successful but first, I want to move further with [Her Crush's Name]". I narrowed my eyes at her and she shyly looked away which was a dead giveaway that that 'further move' refers to sex. Wow. It amazes me how the value of one's virginity has decreased through the years. Back in my days, we wanted to cherish our virginity until we were married... to the right guy. My dream had always been to let my future husband be the FIRST and ONLY ONE to deflower me. 

Honestly, I don't blame her for answering my question that way. She probably watches The Disney Channel featuring the most messed up teen/tween stars in the whole wide world, thinks Miley Cyrus is da bomb, thinks Selena Gomez's 'Come and Get It' is the best song ever and worships One Direction. The media plays a huge role in normalizing sex, I mean have you seen some of the shows they watch?! For example, 90210 which has to have at least one rough sex scene in every episode. Or The Vampire Diaries (I love this show so much by the way!) which has sex in almost every episode and the characters are teens too. Let's not forget the music they listen to which encourages sex, drugs and alcohol (Yeah, I'm talking about you Ke$ha and you too Rihanna). So in all entirety, sex is everywhere and can't be avoided that easily, but remember that it is a personal choice not a collective one.

No matter how uncool and primitive I sound, my virginity is something that is very sacred to me and something I can never give up so easily without feeling like 80% of my body's missing.  I honestly cannot speak from a male's perspective but guys, when a woman/girl lets you inside her sacred temple, you should damn well appreciate it because it was the hardest decision that she had ever made in her life (even harder than choosing the cutest member of Backstreet Boyz/One Direction/The Wanted to eternally fall in love with). For a woman, giving up her virginity is very important because she will always remember her first time. Always.

Let me clear the air of hostility here by saying that if a girl easily gives up her v-card it doesn't mean she is a slut (unless she gets paid for it, then yes she is).  Other than that, she is a human being with needs, just like you. Now, guys and girls, I'd like to say that you always have a choice when it comes to having sex and its always your call not your partners'. You can always say no, or never. You're the deckmaster here. Now back to this sentence, "It's Just Sex...!" Well ladies and gentleman, its not just sex, okay, its a heavy part of you and its something you can't take back- ever. It sticks with you for the rest of your life. I mean guys, wouldn't you want her to be your first and only? and girls, wouldn't you want him to be your first and only too? The feeling of knowing that you are each others' one and only is just amazing.Now, if you want to have sex, go ahead and have sex but know that it means something. To all the girls that have been pressured into sex, always say no, because if he loved you, then he wouldn't pressure you into having sex with him. And, if you save yourself for marriage you're not a loser or a nerd or a geek or whatever, you're just someone who values their virginity and prioritizes brilliantly. If you keep pleasing society, you will end up destroying yourself because society will always change and soon you won't be able to keep up with their demands.

Since I have the knack for pissing people off with my posts, I'd like to say that this is all from my perspective and like every single one of you, I'm allowed to have an opinion. I'm allowed to voice out my concerns, views and stories. If you don't like it, then go read some blog about.. gardening or something because I will present the cold, hard fact no matter how insulting it is.  What are your views on sex? Does practice make perfect in this aspect or should it still be a sacred matter shared between two people only? Email or comment your views. 

xx

How [NOT] to ask a girl out- The T.O.A.S.T Way!

Hello readers! I hope you are all doing well. Today's post is all about LOVE. Well, not exactly. It's just another piece of wisdom from my personal love journal. The content of my love journal comes courtesy of my heart, soul and experience. This is to say that every tip and advice that is in this post has been experienced by me. As per the title, this post aims to once again, address the issues that we all face when it comes to the opposite (or same) gender. The target for this post is the male gender (sorry, ladies)! Now, guys, have you ever wondered why she never texted you back? Why she didn't respond to that text you wrote on her Facebook wall? Why can't even spare you a passing glance after you asked her out that one time (and got blown off)? Well, obviously it's because there's something you aren't doing right at all!

That is why I have come up with some tips that could help you overcome this issue of being rejected because let's face it, nobody likes being rejected. Makes you feel like shit. Unlike other blogs or advice columns that tell you how to ask a girl out, this post will tell you how not to ask a girl out. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to... T.O.A.S.T. No, I wasn't trying to spell toast- it's an acronym for the five tips that I have procured.

T: Texting

O: One Liners

A: At the Club

S: Social Networking

T: The Friend

Before I begin, I'd like to outline that these tips are not foolproof and hence, they do not work for everybody. This is just my way of trying to help you guys out and since I am a woman, I think it's better that I give a little insight into what the male gender are doing wrong when they are asking a girl out. Let's get on with it shall we? 

1. T for Texting

Issue: It is a well known fact that asking a girl out through a text message is the best way to do it because then you won't be a nervous wreck in front of her plus it saves her the horror of seeing you sweat (which grosses her out and causes her to reject you). WRONG. Asking a girl out through a meaningless, cheap 5 to 15 cent text message (even worse, imagine it  was rife with slang like this: H3y, Wanna go oUt wif meh?) is one of the worst ways to ask her out. It's also really creepy too. And weird. From my experience girls usually react to this manner of courtship with disgust. Most of the time they wonder why the guy couldn't just go up to them and ask them in person. Well, girls, sometimes you don't make it easy for them with your spellbinding attractiveness (trust me, our beauty intimidates guys a lot). The thing is, texting a girl shows that you are a coward, not brave enough to ask her out in person which isn't something you want her to think of you at all. The girl would also assume that you aren't even bothered to exert enough effort into seeing her in person.

Solution: Be a man and grow some balls. March up to her and ask her out like a MAN!  Girls actually like it when a guy asks them out because it feels more genuine and less artificial than texting her. Also it's more sincere and it shows her the effort (it may not seem so important to you but we girls tend to notice and acknowledge these little things) that you have put into seeing her. 

2. O for One Liners

Issue:  Not all girls find one liners/pickup lines "cute" or "adorable". Movie girls, sure, they love one liners. In fact, It's the best way to get into their pants, but real girls find them lame and idiotic. Usually, in order not to hurt your feelings, they would just laugh at them and slowly inch away from you. Besides, one liners should've been extinct by now (I'm surprised they're still in use!). Hey 2013, 1996 wants it's pick up lines back! What's worse than a one liner is one that was ripped off the internet so many times and altered by so many people. Guys, just don't okay. Just don't. Asking a girl out in the form of a one liner (Eg: If a country was named after you, it'd be called WillYouGoOutWithMe-nia) is terrible. It just makes you sound like a copy of George Clooney and that is a terrible thing. Once again, 1996 wants it's one liners back.

Solution: The only solution to this would be to erase every memory of any one liner. Also burn that book of one liners that you bought from a bookstore because that won't get you the girl. Instead of a one liner, a simple joke would be a great way to start things off without making yourself the subject of the joke.

3. A for At the Club

Issue:  I cannot begin to fathom why most guys think it's a good idea to ask a girl out, in a noisy-ass club filled with liquor and spirits with people gyrating around you. The whole environment of the club makes it the worst place to ask anybody out. I remember this one time I was with my friend at a club and this guy approaches her and asks her out. Over the extremely loud wailing of Pitbull, she misheard him and though he asked her if he could feel her up. She gave him the tightest slap (tighter than Chris Hemsworth's abs) and we left that place. That is one of the discrepancies and dangers of asking a girl out at a club and some others include, being misunderstood, impaired hearing and the highest possibility of being rejected. When a guy asks a girl out at a club, the chances are, that she is already drunk (or soon to be drunk) and will probably forget about you in the next 30 minutes upon introduction or that she is so into the music that she won't even realize that you are asking her out. Also picture this. You are about to ask her out when suddenly some drunk guy starts gyrating himself on her. How unromantic is that?

Solution:  Ask her out anywhere else BUT the club. Preferably somewhere quiet, private and more importantly devoid of people gyrating against one of you. Also the absence of wine and spirits is good too.

4. S for Social Networking

Issue:  Have you ever asked her out in the form of a comment on one of her photos or statuses? Have you ever posted "Will you go out with me?" ( or anything of a similar variant) on her wall/profile? Have you ever *GASP* tagged her in a lovey dovey photo asking her out? Then you, my friend must've been rejected plenty of times. The social network is too public to ask a girl out. The girl might actually feel obliged to say yes to save you the embarrassment of your request going unanswered. In fact, she might be a little angry that you would ask her in such a manner. Once again, this shows a lack of effort in actually bothering to ask her out. Worse, still, she might just UN-friend and block you. The social network is a veil upon which people tend to hide behind for fear of being REJECTED (the dreaded R-word). Most guys think this is a good way to ask girls out but it just pisses them off.

Solution:  See No.2

5. T for The Friend

Issue:  Personally, this method really pisses me off. The girls I've interviewed also reacted the same way when I asked them how they would react if a guy asked their close friend to ask you out for them. Most of them confessed that it was a huge turn off. Most of them felt like they were in high school again when you were passing gum along from one person to another. A large percentage felt that it wasn't as private as it should've been and that it felt strange wimpy. Guys, even if a gun was being forced onto your forehead, DO NOT... EV-ER ask her friend to ask her out on your behalf. it's just so... wimpy. And it just automatically reduces the last remaining manhood you have. The main issue here is that she might think you aren't taking her seriously enough to ask her yourself instead of sending someone on your own errand. And she'll feel like you were too lazy to tell her yourself. (Girls, remember, don't shoot the messenger, shoot the sender).

Solution:  Guys, just ask her out already! I mean, come on! I know that she may seem intimidating but trust me, when you ask her out yourself, she will have some new found respect for you and would appreciate the gusto that you put into asking her out. Personal engagement is also another way of flattering her, by telling her that you respect her enough to come face to face with her and meet her. Bravo, champion.

Good Luck, Amigos!