With Death Comes Fame: RIP Michael Clarke Duncan

Hello readers! Please be shocked that I'm actually playing Obituary and posting about a death of a celebrity (something I never really do unless I'm looking for some publicity for my blog.. which isn't what I'm doing now). On Monday the 3rd of September, news that 54 year old actor Michael Clarke Duncan had died was ignored for that day and the twitter messages hash-tagged-RIPMCH and etc. started flooding in the day after which I find pretty stupid. Over the years, I have noticed a certain Fame-after-Death pattern when it involves celebrity deaths.  I mean, I don't think I'm the only one who noticed this pattern. It seems that when you die, the can of worms is suddenly open. Everybody suddenly remembers who you are and all of a sudden you're way mor popular in your death than when you were alive. For instance, when Michael Jackson was alive, the only thing anyone ever remembered about him was "that time his nose fell off in public", not his wonderful music (prior to his 'accidental' skin bleaching**). Or when Vincent Van Gogh was alive, I bet people referred to him as  "that crazy geezer who was so hungry that instead of buying beef jerky, he ate his own ear jerky" but when he died suddenly everyone's rushing to squander millions of dollars onto his artwork that looks like he was painting them with his feet. 

Now with Michael Clarke Duncan dead, everyone suddenly remembers him as "that guy from the Green Mile" and not "that huge creepy black guy from Daredevil" or the more famous "guy from the green Mile whose fame was recently overshadowed by that creepy 50 year old who married that underage blonde bimbo". For those of you who are still missing the point, Michael Clarke Duncan  has passed away (Ad his wife is Omarosa** from The Apprentice). Michael Clarke Duncan from the Green Mile, your time has come and you will be greatly missed. We wish you well in the afterlife and I hope that you meet your Maker. RIP. 

**Rumor has it that according to Michael Jackson himself, the reason why his skin turned out the way it is was that he was burnt so bad that the 'only option' was to bleach his skin. (I'll believe that when Anderson Cooper suddenly announces that his gayness was a joke and that he was really straight this whole time.)

**Omarosa was the embarrassing African-American woman who was a contestant on The Apprentice (Donald Trump's way of saying "I'm too lazy to personally find some employees so I'm gonna let the suckers fight for the job by making a game show and plus I'd rather comb my toupee") and talked way too much. I apologize for her annoyance on and off the show. ut on a more serious note, our deepest condolances. 

xoxo

The Stalker Series: Jessica Lowndes

Hello everyone! Following my recent laziness to update my blog I decided to post at least one post every week. Hm.. sounds fair doesn't it? So in a series of blog posts, i have decided to create a new series called the Stalker  Series. the Stalker Series is like a mini series about some celebrities -male and female- that I either envy, crush on, or have an affinity towards. Enter the life of me that is filled with 13-year old dreams and 50 year old delusions. Evidently, the Stalker Series wont be as creepy as TMZ or as pathetic as PerezHilton.com. So for today's episode, the celebrity that is fortunate enough to be my object of affection is... (as the damn title suggests) Jessica Lowndes. For those of you who are not familiar with her click on this fabulous link ------> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Lowndes  and a timeline of her life shall unveil before your eyes (plus unnecessary information about her highs and lows but i guess if you want to know the important bits you can always log onto this website ------> perezhilton.com/tag/jessica_lowndes/).

To give you a pictorial description of this fine specimen:

Jessica Lowndes

Now Let me describe what a beauty she is. Jessica Lowndes is like Megan Fox + Angelina Jolie + Mila     Jovovich on the scale of ridiculous hotness. I first saw her in Beverly Hills 90210 (the remake with the thinner and more anorexic cast who act like they're on prozac 24/7 ) and hat was when I had a temporary lesbian crush on her and that developed into a permanent heterosexual crush on her. I mean, what's there NOT to like? She's gorgeous, she has a bubbly personality (even though she played the role of an utter bitch on the show) and the best part is that she's not skinny! That gives a great message that you dont have to be skinny to be beautiful. I mean she's not the typical hungry looking celeb, she's well fit and looks great too! I hoep she doesn't turn out like some celebrities who lose weight and become the equivalent of a chopstick. No wait, chopsticks are fatter than her- right, angel hair pasta- soon to be thin like a needle. So all in all, she's one for whom I would definitely go lesbian for. If I were ever to write a vampire series i would definitely employ her to play the lead vampiress. so stay tuned for my next celebrity crush whose name starts with a H.......... . See ya later, perpetrator!

MUAH! 

XOXO, Jenny.