Life Cycle of a University Student

Hello readers! I know it has been a while since I've posted anything for that matter but This time, I come prepared. I hope you noticed the photo above because it's a reflection of what I will be writing today. This photo is courtesy of a university webpage which I will not mention and it stars a stereotypical representation of some ethnic groups in order to make university seem like a cultural experience whereby everywhere you go, you will see a lot of students of different ethnicity traipsing around making light conversation. Today's post is pretty much related to my life and is an illustration of the 4 years that I have endured (and suffered) in university. Now, just because this was written by me doesn't mean that it will necessarily reflect what you all have or will be going through  in college/university. It's just a basic post to share what I felt and to see whether you all relate to this story at all. Unlike all those other blogs or advice columns sugarcoating the real college experience, I intend to tell it as it is with limited sugarcoating and glittering generalities. Before I begin, I would like to acknowledge that my university has three academic years and that each academic year won't be broken down into several excruciating detail- instead I will talk about it in general to spare you the useless details.Now, there are four stages, each for the 4 years and those are (in this order); Anticipation, Excitement, Fatigue/Post Anticipation and Surrender/Loss of Interest.

** Note: Also as i write this post, i am visibly gloating at all the first year students simply because I am a cruel and vindictive wench and mostly because I've graduated and they still have a long way to go.

1. Anticipation Stage

This is the preliminary stage in anybody's university experience.This is the very first time you feel extremely excited to start a new chapter in your life. All those years of watching 90210, Saved by the Bell ,21 Jumpstreet and any stereotypically misleading TV series/movies have finally paid off and have prepared you to face the magical world of University (or college as it is commonly referred to in the USA). Some people even consort to making personal vows to be a much cooler/better person in university than they were in high school. It is at this stage that you outline your university goals and aspirations and also whereby you create a very unrealistic set of criteria that people would have to meet in order to qualify to be your friend. This was exactly how I pictured university, a place where dreams can come true and where true love can finally be found. Thanks a lot Hallmark! You totally helped me realize my hopes and dreams and college aspirations as well. Stupid. So then your first month basically involves cruising here and there trying to take everything in and indulging in this wonderland full of people who don't even have time to chill with you and don't seem interested in being friends with you. For that whole month, you end up hanging out with a girl you either met during orientation week or is a classmate of yours. Oh, and remember that list of criteria you made at the beginning? You kinda f***ed that off. The main reason why this stage is known as anticipation stage is because a lot of people are actually anticipating the college/university life. Hey, remember all that binge drinking and house parties advertised on TV as included in the whole university package? Well that's another lie because the only pong you'll be playing is "book pong". Also a certan culture shock will happen here (but this depends on where you actually went to college and whether it was really that different from your place of origin). This stage usually lasts 6 months to a year (2 semesters) until it finally wears off and gives way to the second stage which is...

2. Excitement Stage aka Pre-Bragging stage

During this stage, you would've already surpassed the foundation stage (this usually occurs during your first year of University). The reason why this is the excitement stage is because newer and hotter students start to pile in and your extremely small circle of friends start to expand and ultimately you have so many friends that you even forget their names. This is the stage whereby you've ditched all those boring and compulsory foundation courses and opted for courses which you can choose... all on your own... without the university being responsible for it.

Also here is where you usually decide what you would like to major in and which boy/girl would be the victim of your stalking from now until you graduate. This person of interest is usually someone you either ignored during the first stage or found cute and then after seeing them a lot, disregarded that. Feelings that you will experience during this stage are what's left of the preliminary anticipation, excitement, love-drunkenness** and periodical happiness. Another name for this stage would be the Pre- Bragging stage and this is because this is the stage where you start bragging to those below you (that would be the juniors) about how you've made it so far and how your GPA is rising higher than Mount Everest or sinking lower than the Dead Sea. In actual fact, most students (usually weak minded juniors) end up withdrawing from their respective universities  and carting themselves off to a more prestigious university whereby their oil rig owning father's status has some influence on their university social status. GENIUS! Peer pressure is another common thing faced here as you would begin to realize that everyone belongs to a clique (to find out which cliques you belong to, >>>CLICK HERE<<<) and that you need to get into a clique or risk ending up a loner! In this stage, you don't just stick to one clique but end up trying to decide which ones really suit your image.After brainwashing you with all that, let's move on to stage 3,


3. Fatigue/Post Anticipation 

Remember what I said about the whole GPA rising thing in the second stage? Well in this stage you can strike that out because your GPA starts dropping lower than Beyonce on a strip pole. Which won't be so surprising considering you would've decided to join into some Student Council or Debate club or anything equally boring. If so, why would you join them? Because this is the stage when you realize the value of extracurricular activities, Star Points and certificates. Basically all the aforementioned help increase your chances of getting great jobs/internships or escaping while you still can from the institution.Then there's still the issue of getting a real life, good 'ol college boyfriend/girlfriend, YEE HAW! Which is also very hard (that's what she said!) considering the new intakes are much younger than you and dating one of them would probably categorize you in the potential cougar category. The most important thing that could ever happen in this stage is that you start being really serious and motivated about your studies in an attempt to raise your GPA higher than Wiz Khalifa. Dating has been shunned and socializing has been kept to a minimum. The primary feelings that you will experience in this stage is post anticipation and fatigue. Without sounding like a remake of  your friendly neighborhood doctor, post anticipation is caused by high levels of residual anticipatory behavior that had been abandoned by the second stage. Meanwhile, fatigue is caused by the amount of work that you would have to undergo plus the effort that you would have to go through to increase your GPA. Now that I have clouded your mind with useless jargon, glittering vocabulary and polished shenanigans, we shall move on to the final stage in a university/college student's life which is...


4. Surrender/Loss of Interest

Yeap, exactly like the ending to X-Men: The Last Stand. The most important thing about this stage is that it is the final stage before feeling the blast of freedom beyond the crippling and prison-like demeanor of university/college. This stage usually happens during the final year of a typical undergraduate's 4 year university tenure. There are a number of  reasons why you have feelings of surrendering and the main ones are:-

• You are fed up of seeing the same classmates again , 
• Tired of having the same teachers teach you different subjects (including the ones you hated during your first three years and gave them a terrible evaluation and thus awkwardly have to see them again), 
• You are constantly being reminded that you are a single old fart who will graduate without a boyfriend/girlfriend and is most likely going to die alone, 
• You hate the food (the food starts to taste like sandpaper and you spend your days contributing to your body fat by ingesting McDonalds and Pizza and any fast food)
• You're tired of the repetitive assignments (and due to this you start to recycle other assignments from other classes with a few alterations here and there)
• You're this close to flinging your fancy schmancy smartphone at the wall if it ever wakes you up at 7am.

Quite frankly,  that's a longer list than I expected to write but I'll let you find out the rest for yourself. Feelings of losing interest usually accompany each and every one of the aforementioned. Nothing is more interesting to you than finishing everything and getting the hell out of university already. Trust me, after a while, you will sit down and contemplate on everything you miss about the place (even the half assed, Meanie McMean head of Department you despise + that uptight midget Statistics lecturer who hates you for no reason).

Girls and Guys, this post is only a mini rendition of what I went though during my 4 years of college.university and hopefully some of you can relate to that (Don't judge me Ok!) and I wish you all the best if you are still in university (ha di ha ha) or planning to start university (ha di ha ha twice) or have graduated (hot damn! Welcome to the club, foo!). From your friendly neighborhood Sass Mistress, xoxo.

Before I actually leave, I would like to give you a pictorial idea of how you would end up looking like before and after 4 years of college/university.

Trust me: The Owl Knows Best.

xx

New App: Translation of My Blog

Hi, there readers! I hope everything is fine with all of you! I noticed that my blog is being read by different nationalities all over the world. So because I love you guys so much and would like to simplify your reading pleasure, I have just installed a Translate application that will translate every single post of mine into whichever language that you are more proficient in.

The application is powered by Google Translate and it is located at the bottom of this very page. Here's how it looks like:

So just scroll to the very bottom of the page and you will easily spot it! With that note, enjoy reading this blog in whatever language you desire! ;)

Could it Be..? Yes, It Could. Something's Coming, Something Good.

Hello bloggers, readers, minions and wonderful people! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, (I know I did). The title of this post is very much the lyrics off the original Broadway production of  West Side Story remade by Darren Criss  titled, Something's Coming. It is a marvelous song and I solemnly believe that everyone should give it a listen. Admittedly i was never really into Broadway until I watched Annie. Then the Domino effect took place and I moved on to Wicked, then it became all about Mamma Mia and Grease.

Anyway this post isn't all about musicals but instead focuses on something amazing that has been brewing within my cauldron of dating recently. I do not want to jinx anything just yet but I do want to highlight something. Dating or Courtship (to the medieval minded). As a strong and sophisticated woman of race, I have paid my dues when it comes to dating. I have dated the worst, the best and the plain weird. Let me tell you about the weirdest date I had ever been on. It was with this guy named Phil, from Germany and we sort of met through an online social networking site. We chatted for a week before he asked me out for drinks. Being the classic moron, I agreed without Googling him first and we ended up having dinner at this really wonderful place. The date started out fine and then he tested my patience by smoking a fag. I ignored that gesture and resumed putting on my cheerful demeanor. The deal was eventually broken when he excused himself too many times to the bathroom (15 times to be exact). After ever five minutes of our conversation he bolted off to the bathroom and spent 5 minutes with his crystal meth (I mean what else could he have been doing in there periodically?). I was so annoyed by the date that I didnt order any food and went home hungry. Phil is now on my blacklist.

Not all my dates were terrible at all. I had the best date of my life during my "ex" era. As far as I can remember (I conditioned my brain to eliminate any traces of that asshole from my pure and innocent mind), he took me out to watch a movie- the movie was I am number 4 and it was so boring, I slept in the cinema like a vegetable- and then later we had some very unhealthy dinner at a pizza parlor which ended in the seal of a kiss. That was also the week in which he was convinced he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend (boy, was his dick chatty). Months later I did the right thing and dumped his ass. Anyway that's another story for another time. So admittedly, that date was a great one...

...Until the one I recently had with this French (Ooh la la) guy named Jack**. To sum it up it was so simple and so amazing that I actually did the unthinkable and agreed to another hangout. The thing about Jack is that he is the sweetest guy I have ever met so far in my life and he exemplifies everything that I have ever wanted in a guy: humor, looks and personality. His humor is just amazing! I easily laugh at his jokes and he laughs at mine. We insult each others' race without feeling offended , we poke fun at our insecurities without going too far and the best (and most essential part ) is that HE UNDERSTANDS MY SARCASM! I'll be damned! its so rare to find a guy who truly understands sarcasm at all. He was just a cherry in the wild thorn-berries. In terms of looks, personally I'm not the type to focus too much on a person's looks (EXHIBIT A: My ex). I live by the philosophy that a guy's looks will appeal to me when his personality and humor appeals to me. and this applies to Jack. Maybe to some he might not pass off as handsome but to me, he is indeed good looking to me. His personality definitely matches mine and is amazing too.

So far, we have hung out four times- two of those with friends- and we have been alone twice (once I actually hung out with him for the whole day). They were very wonderful indeed and each time, I want to hang out with him even more. Is this a crush developing? Or some pretty bad misconceptions? Whatever it is, It's really doing me in. I think about him all the time and I wait anxiously to see whether he texts or not. Our text messages are rife with inside jokes and humor and some flirting here and there but then again it doesn't give anything away; I'm not sure whether he likes me or not.

I could always do the unthinkable and *GASP* ask! But then again there's the risk of rejection. (Honestly, I know that the chances of him liking me back is really high because he hasnt exactly hidden it at all, but then again, chances are just that.... chances). Honestly right now, I've been having pleasant dreams when he would ask me to be his girlfriend and then we would have a happy relationship (hopefully). But from the way things are going, this might take a long while to come by.  Chances are, that he and I will definitely have a "connection" and things will work out for us in the end. So ultimately, its is safe to say that, this might end up well or badly- it is after all still my very own fairytale in which I am in command of. ;)

Dating might not be for anybody, and just because you have been unlucky doesnt mean that you can't always try dating again and again. Its a repeat process that needs time and patience. One should NEVER set ridiculously high expectations on a date and they definitely shouldn't anticipate more than they can handle. So amidst whatever useless advice I'd given you, I'm sure there is some useful rambling you can extract too. :) For me, it's confusion all the way...

 **Names have been protected for the purpose of not jinxing anything yet.

"You got PUNK'D!" said The Mayans

Hello readers. 

Yeap, as the title suggests, the whole world got punk'd by people who have been dead for centuries.Oh, humans when will you ever learn? The world has NOT ended on the 21st of December and yes we are indeed still breathing. The earth hasn't been swallowed into nothing and molten lava encased asteroids have not plummeted towards earth rendering everyone dead. People did not run around screaming "Ahhhh! The apocalypse has comeeee!" nor did they start killing the members of their families to spare them the misfortune of going through the end of the world. You wanna know what happened instead?

People were still going around working, debt collectors were still collecting debt, banks were demanding credit card bills off its customers, One Direction were still continuing to make my ears bleed with their premature cat wailing (also known as their singing), Wiz Khalifa was still buying and smoking weed so long as he's young and wild and free and the Obamas were finalising their Christmas lists. The world did not in fact end, because if the world really did end, i wouldn't be here writing this post and you wouldn't see this at all. 

Admittedly, this whole drama about the end of the world is seriously overrated, especially when the only indication was the (unfinished) Mayan calendar that ended at 21 December 2012. Further investigation would entail that the (very) possible reasons for the calendar ending on this specific date at this specific time was:

1. They ran out of parchment (or spaces in the rocks) to write on and hence they had no choice but to stop at the 21st of December 2012,
2. They ran outta Ink. Period,
3. They lost interest, 
4. They wanted to PUNK us (and boy did they succeed)

Gee, thank GOD I wasn't one of those people who actually built bomb-proof bunkers under their houses to sustain themselves from ending with the world. I'll bet they're feeling pretty stupid right now eh? Yes, in case you haven't heard, there were some rich ass families that spent millions on very comfortable underground bunkers in preparation for the end of the world. Clearly they need to find a better way to spend their money (hint: AFRICA and other third world countries...)

So It is safe to say that in the end, the world did not end, I'm still alive (Thank God), you are all alive, the people I care about are alive and I can finally live to tell my children the story of how I survived the end of the world.

 Now that's what I call:

  

Well Played Kali, Well Played ...

Failure: That Red Eyed Monster

Hello readers! I know it seems like this is going to be another entertaining and fun post but judging from the per-mentioned title, its not. This post will re-count everything that I have failed at in the past few years. Like the common plebeian individual, I have failed at a numerous number of things starting from childbirth and ending at where I am right now-seated at a crappy computer at my college PC room and tapping away at the noisy keyboards (cringe!). Since childbirth I have failed to be pretty enough for society to accept me. I have failed to properly pronounce my vowels and sentences (but that was successfully broken at the age of 4), I have failed to maintain my personal hygiene (another obstacle that was successfully broken at the age of 13 ) and I have failed to listen to my parents when I wanted to do what I wanted to do (to say the least I was that one child in every family who was already predestined for Hell).

Today, of all days, I realized what a failure I am. That I had failed at so much but hadn't bothered to acknowledge those failures. Now I totally know how Kevin Federline felt when he had to buy his own CDs. The peak of failure has indeed been reached.This feeling of being a failure was all caused by my mid-semester exam results for one of my subjects where I failed. And the worst part, all I needed was one more point to score.Sadly, no matter how much I tried to reason with my distinguished teacher, she refused. Now that I think about it, I wasn't doing much to elevate the image of black people by begging to her. Anyway, at this point (as I type this morose sounding paragraph), I realized that I had not only failed that exam but I had also failed at achieving what I wanted to achieve in life insofar.

I had a well thought out plan on what I wanted to achieve before I turned 25 and most of those were pathetic sounding now, but they were solid gold back then. The first thing that was on my list was to become a world class fashion designer who was close enough to all the celebrities that I could invent nicknames for each of them (eg. Britney Spears- BriBri, Gaspard Ulliel- Gaz, Ian Somerhalder- Somoooo, and etc.). I really had it all worked out for e and in order to prepare for that, I started drawing dresses and coming up with fashion lines and potential names for them too. Then my dad decides to send me to this run down mill of a university that did not offer a single course on fashion. So that plan was shattered.. [INSERT: I wonder what happened to my book of designs? Last I heard, they were back in my country rotting away and sometimes being used as toilet paper substitute]

Then I had a dream of having the best boyfriend in the world who would always be there for me and support me through everything and etc. I was so close to having that until distance became an issue and then I had to settle for a Balkan Hulk instead- which didn't work out great either. In the end, as I sit here typing, I am currently boyfriend-less with so much non-platonic love to give but no one to give it to. I mean I wouldn't say that I am lonely... (...or am I?) Bullshit. So evidently, when I got back my result for that damned subject today I realized these things and it made me almost want to end my life. (I seriously told my friend that i was considering putting a bullet through my medulla oblongata and thus, ending it all). Then I realized, this is a chance for me to prove that even though I failed the mid term exams, I could definitely scrape through with a great grade for my finals. It didn't mean that the world is over for me, It just means that a challenge has presented its behind to me and I was gonna kick it to oblivion.

The Moral lesson kids is that; when faced with failure, immediately go to your local drugstore, purchase a capsule of250 sleeping pills, go back home. swallow them all and I'll see you in the afterlife. KIDDING** But seriously, Calm the fuck down and think about the many things that you have succeeded in instead of the shit you have screwed up. That should make you think twice about visiting the pharmacy for non medical reasons. Remember: Your failures in life do not define you.

Until then, my well of wisdom is drying up so read everything with care and take care.

xx Jenny. 

**PS: I shall not be responsible for any moron who takes this advice seriously and ends up pulling their own plug on their lives. My intention is to crack some ribs with humor; not kill you.

Mobile Blogging: Because I Can

Hello readers! As mentioned before, I would love to take my blogging more seriously and that would mean regularly updating it. Seemed like a challenge when it came to that, I but Blogger had finally allowed those living away from certain geographical areas to engage in mobile Blogging.

It's simple, quick, and I can upload photos and critical posts on the spot. How amazing is that? Expect more silly posts and disturbing images from the Sass Mistress.. Await my next blog post, coming soon which will talk about interracial dating and French men..

Au Revoir, ma petits!

Skyfall: Disaster or Delicious?

Hello readers! Today's post is my full fledged, no holds attack.. ahem.. I mean, criticism of the new Bond movie Skyfall which was recently released. To be honest, I lost interest in the Bond movie franchise ever since it was taken over by the ever so wrinkled and sperm-dried Daniel Craig. It lost all appeal and sexy suddenly became old, blond and wrinkled. Fine, I have to admit that for his age his body is just delectable and surprisingly fit, but that doesn't make up for the lack of tact and suaveness required of James Bond. In all honesty he just killed the role and movie. Unlike the first two movies, Skyfall is bludgeoned with more stupid movie cliches than necessary. For instance when the bad guy was caught at the beginning and they were all like "Finally, we copped his ass!". Little did they know that getting caught was part of his stereotypically sick agenda.

Of all the bond girls I actually liked Olga Kurylenko. She was by far the best and sexiest bond girl in the Daniel Craig series. Naomie Harris on the other end always looks like she just came from smoking a cliff while offering her allegiance to Jay-Z. There's just something about her lazy eyes and drunk expression that puts me off. When I watched the movie and then saw this Bond girl, I wanted to regurgitate all the carbon dioxide in the air because it was like Transformers 3 all over again; when they recasted the  leading lady with Rosie Huntington-Whitely who- when compared to the plastic enhanced Megan Fox- resembled last night's leftovers.Oh Olga Kurylenko, please return to being the Bond Girl. :( 

To sum up this pointless review, The movie lacked novelty, the main character lacked fitter abs (his "abs" looked like the salmon I had last night), I was still confused on how the inclusion of Javier Bardem as the villain helped enhance the shit that was the movie and yeah, it was terrible. Frankly speaking, the best thing about the movie was the song, Skyfall by Adele. It is simply amazing and very harmonious. I love it so much.

To read more useless reviews (quite like mine) you may click on these links to read them:

• Here and
• This One

If you want to hear something that is worth your time and will actually save your hearing here you go (click on the link to listen):

Skyfall by Adele (iTunes)

Skyfall by Adele (for the cheapskates- FREE DOWNLOAD)

Once again, this is simply a review of WHAT I THINK of the movie. Don't be a moron and take it seriously. You may watch the movie (at your own risk) and procure your own opinion. 

PS: An opinion means I can say whatever I want. If you hate it, suck on it. If you disagree, go smoke a tree.

According to Me: Top 10 British Women I Adore

Hello readers and a happy Halloween to you all! I was going to post an entry on my Halloween throughout the past year but then I decided to accumulate enough Halloween experience this week and then write the article :) So in actual fact this post is all about this new series that I want to start titled, "According to Me...". This new segment basically introduces the top ten things, people, movies, shows and etc. that I find worthy of notice. To start of this new segment I would like to (sorry girls) draw all the attention of the men around the world from those typical American celebrities and get them to instead focus on these 10 amazing British ladies. According to me, these are the top 10 British ladies that I find most charming.

10.   Emma Watson

From the cute and adorable Hermione Granger to the lovely and delectable Emma Watson herself, this beautiful 22 year old is just amazing in her own words. Aside from the rumors of her death (How cruel of someone to spread something like that), Emma has successfully steered herself away from any controversies that have thrown her off the monstrous spotlight called Hollywood. What makes her my number ten British gentile that I adore is simply because she is a private person and hasn't been in any image shattering rut recently or ever. And she is also daring- she was daring enough to go where no 22 year old celebrity has gone; she chopped off her locks but still killed the look. Congrats to Miss Granger for being so adorable and likeable!

 9.   Dido (Dido Florian Cloud ) 

Now I know that most of you probably forgot about her because she has been on hiatus for so long but you cannot forget her songs! This fine lady is responsible for hits like "Hunter", "Thank You", "Don't Leave Home" and the ever so popular "Here With Me" (which was also the theme song for the popular TV series Roswell). Rumor has it that she has been making music recently but hasn't been getting much exposure for it but for those of you who want to listen to her recent hits especially from her album "Safe Trip Home" just click >>>HERE<<<;. Aside from her voice and her meaningful lyrics, Dido's beauty and simplicity is what attracts me to her (#nohomo). She is just unique and simple. she doesn't throw herself in the spotlight like other comeback celebrities and Isn't a fame-whore. Dido, I love you (no homo).

8. Kate Beckinsale 

We all know this British bombshell as the sexy, kick-ass vampire (vampire) slayer in the Underworld series and we also know her as the sweet nurse from the forever loved Pearl Harbor (The movie she acted with Josh Hartnett and that other guy who thought it was a great idea to write, direct and act in "Good Will Hunting".) The most unbelievable thing about this missus is that she is a mind blowing 39 years old! Imagine being 39 and looking like that! She has clearly preserved her beauty well. The reason she is even on my list is because she is controversy free and respects herself as a woman and actress. She hasn't done anything to degrade herself (yet) and she will always be Britain's sweetheart with a smile that can light up dark tunnels. 


7. Emily Blunt

Despite having a face that resembles that of the typical uptight bitch living in the Kensington area of London, Emily Blunt is truly a remarkable beauty and she oozes sex appeal too. She has acted alongside A-Listers like Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway. Upon first glance, one might assume she was the controversial sans bitchy type but she is actually a really nice person and she is tremendously sweet and energetic too. I really admired her performance in The Devil Wears Prada simply because she played the role of uppity bitch really well (she did have the face for it.) So the main reason why she is my number sixth is that her looks are indeed deceiving- she looks mean but is extremely nice.


6.Thandie Newton

Surprise, surprise... Thandie Newton is NOT American, but British! I know, I suffered the same shock when I found out because most of the movies that I have seen her in were American. Then all of a sudden I recently found out that she is British. Shocker! She has acted in movies such as The Chronicles of  Riddick, Run, Fat Boy, Run, For Colored Girls and etc. Thandie is just exotic beauty. Her eyes are so playful and seductive and her smile is just enigmatic. She embodies the meaning of being a Black British woman is- you dont' have to have colored eyes to be a pretty black woman. She is on my list because I love her acting, smile and her personality. 


5. Anna Popplewell 

 She may not be as well known as the others or as blatantly gorgeous as the other British women, but Anna Popplewell is truly a beautiful lady. Some of you might remember her in the Narnia series... but other than that, she ceases to act (besides recently doing a promo for the 4th installment of the Halo series.) She is one of those celebrities who are abundantly famous in their country but fail to achieve the same level of fame in the US. She is slowly gaining recognition for making appearances in some of the future Narnia series. She may be regarded as ugly, or childish to some but to me, she is the very cherry on the crumpet tree. She has the signature red blown up lips and the blue eyes. all she's missing is the blonde hair but her brunette locks seem to do her justice. She fares really amazingly as the number five British lady simply because she is still young, very low key and (he very essence of beauty (I do prefer her to that Georgie Henley character).




4. Leona Lewis

Yes! We see you and hope that you won't forgive us for saying that you are simply stunning. Leona Lewis is one of those people you would turn twice at in a restaurant or any public area. She is the personification of what it's like to be British and Black (OK fine, she's not really black , she's part black but who cares! She's hot!) Sure, she is the typical cliche of grey eyes and caramel skin that exemplifies beauty at its finest but cliche schmiche. Leona was first brought into my spotlight when I heard her song "Bleeding Love" (you might've heard the Jesse McCartney version- the original one- but she totally nailed it) on the mainstream radio. She went on  to singing the main music theme for the award winning movie Avatar "I see You". he song Forgive Me was very catchy and showed an almost Broadway side of her. She was just amazing and had a wonderful voice and that was what made her qualified to be in my list.



3. Una Healy

If there were a million things I could say to describe Una's beauty it would take much more than one post and time too. Una Healy is indeed the epitome of beauty. She is living proof that being a ginger doesn't eternally fate you to freckles and less than pleasant looks. This flaming redhead is one of five members of the all female UK group "The Saturdays". Now a majority of you are probably wondering who the f*** are the Saturdays? Visit: www.thesaturdays.co.uk/ ‎ to find out more. To be honest, I only like Una not the music, it's almost too K-Pop for me. Anyway, the reason why she is number three on this list is because she's sexy and she knows it! There's that and the fact hat she doesnt flaunt her amazing life in our faces like most British ladies do (I mean have you seen TOWIE or Made in Chelsea? Total twats!) She hasn't created any controversy yet and she is also very pleasant to look at without being bored (in a platonic way, of course). This is the part where i do some promo for their music but since i dislike it, I will save you the torture. 


 2. Natasha Bedingfield

These words of my own cannot begin to describe how much I am stymied by this fine gentile. She really embodies the true meaning of being the stereotypical British lass. She's blonde, blue eyed, big smile and is related to Daniel Bedingfield (that guy who sang that one hit wonder If you're not the one) and has very whacky personality. She first mesmerized me in her song These Words which was then followed by a list of impressive melodies such as Angel, I Wanna Have Your Babies and Love Like This (feat. Sean Kingston). And ca you believe she's 30? Her bright smile and her talent makes her seem much younger than her age. This pop singer's veracity and vocals are what makes her deserve this number two position on my list. In case Natasha ever comes across this blog (Yeah, right!) I would love to say a million more things about her but it would require more than this tiny post to do so. Keep smiling and keep making music girl.




And the number one spot goes to......
1. Pixie Lott

Indeed, Pixie Lott is the number one classiest and most beautiful British gentile according to me. I mean, honestly, what is there not to like about this pixie featured lady? She's smart, stunning and has a big heart! She is gorgeous on the inside and the outside, plus, she has such a terrific personality teamed with a gorgeous smile! Pixie Lott first surfaced in 2009 and has been responsible for smash hits like Boys and Girls, Cry Me Out and the ever loved, Gravity. She has a voice that could almost give certain American singers a run for their stinking money. She is one of those women who have been caught countless times without their makeup on but still have the audacity to be proud about their acne filled face. I love this woman! And to think that she is only 20! What an achievement really! Overall, Pixie, if you ever- in some unimaginable way- come across this blog, just know that you are an amazing individual and that you will definitely give some singers a run for their money. Live long and prosper.


So there you have it. The top ten British ladies that I admire the most, starting from Emma Watson all the way to Pixie Lott. Congratulations to those who made it onto this insignificant list and for those who didn't make it, try to be involved in less scandals and wardrobe malfunctions, cupcakes :D Then again, those who were dangerously close to making the list were: Cheryl Tweedy, Sienna Miller, Catherine Zeta- Jones, And Amy Winehouse (OK, admittedly she had received a lot of bad press prior to her death and she was starting to make Jack Skellington look obese, but her voice really impressed me- that lady could sing!) In all fairness, whatever I wrote about these ladies shouldn't be taken as a sign of possible Homofaggity or as I like to put it Homofagus Repulsivus.

No Homo.

xoxo

It's Official

 Hello readers. As the title suggests, its official. What's official? October 11 is official. It is now one year since my last breakup (damn, I really lasted that long!). Which means it has officially been 1 year of battling inevitable insecurities, inevitable heartbreaks, unsuccessful dates, annoying stalkers and finally getting over that son of a good woman. I am proud of myself. Why? Because if I was a very cruel person, I would've immediately looked for a rebound relationship and then I'd be in deeper shit than I am now. I mean, I have gotten offers from men and some awkward love confessions too (demanding emails and even marriage proposals ensued) and I could've settled for them if I wanted to but I stood my ground and waited until I find someone who is worthy of me and my time. Ok fine, honestly, its because they want to just be with me with the hopes of getting sex out of it- i don't do such relationships by the way- or they just weren't up to my standards (every girl must have standards for a guy, I mean, you do not want to end up dating a freak do you? Hint taken then).

Until recently, all I've had were harmless crushes that literally went nowhere and usually ended with them either suddenly disappearing, or me losing interest. Like recently, I expressed interest in a group of these foreign exchange students. It might sound like an exaggeration, but seriously they were like the saviors of my eyes...To simply put it, they were beautiful. The moment they pass in front of me, they immediately fill my thoughts with impure scenarios (I'm joking!.. or am I?). But since I never see them again, I begin to wonder if they are even worth admiring anymore. Although I knew where they lived (as creepy as that sounds), they were like an oasis in the desert; one moment they were there and the next, they had disappeared. So I decided to  divert my attention away from them and am now focusing on the super cute part-time student waiter at our local sandwich bar. All I got so far from my sleuthing is his name. So far. (His name starts with a  "K" so in future references, I shall call him "Kellan"...or "Kyle".. yeah he looks like a "Kyle" rather than a "Kellan") But in time I know that i will get more than just his name. who knows? :P

So the lesson that I have learned from this one year dating hiatus is that, breakups are never easy. they will always be hard and they get harder especially when you are in the most uncomfortable situation where you're unfortunate enough to see your ex-boyfriend every single day. That is the absolute worst but the one thing you can do to combat this is to distract yourself. Find temporary crushes or even better, be with your friends more! Stop thinking of what could've been and whether the reason why he left you was because you did something wrong... Another thing you could do is to make use of your singlehood and ENJOY IT! We know that later in life you most probably wont be single so you wont have time for yourself. take this time to actually be all about YOU and not YOU and HIM. Don't worry, be happy. :) Before I end this post, here is some advice for you. :)

 

Hel-lo, Christian Grey! a.k.a Final 50 Shades of Grey Casting

Hello readers and fellow bloggers! I don't know about some of you but I have definitely been feeling the Fifty Shades of Grey craze! After illegally downloading the PDF version, because I was too cheap to spend money on the actual book itself, it has become my Holy Grail. I would read it on the public transports, or when I haven't paid my internet subscription for a month. Sometimes I read it as a bedtime story and sometimes I read it as a poem upon which my wildest fantasies will never be leveled with. Currently, the final contestants (candidates. possibilities, casting) for the role of Christian Grey have whittled down to these possibilities:

• Ian Somerhalder
• Matt Bomer
• Alexander Skarsgard 
• Ryan Gosling
• Henry Cavill
• Robert Pattinson

Now, I have created a sort of photo intro to help you, the audience and the directors choose who they think will be the best to play the delectable role of sexy Christian Grey. This is just my representation of the character and actors.. this is not the final cut. :)

Ian Somerhalder as Christian Grey:

 

 Matt Bomer as Christian Grey:

Henry Cavill as Christian Grey:

Alexander Skarsgard as Christian Grey:

Ryan Gosling as Christian Grey:

Robert Pattinson as Christian Grey:

 So what's the verdict readers? Who do YOU think will be best suited to play Mr. Grey? Who has what it takes to play Mr. Grey? Leave your comments below or you can email me your response. the winners will be announced in due time :) Happy drooling!