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Monday, November 23, 2009

MORE Things You Wouldnt Know Without TV

  1. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
  2. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
  3. After sleeping together, a couple always has the covers placed exactly in a way to reveal that they are naked, without showing any parts that might offend the FCC or MPAA.
  4. All computer hackers are either disabled or under 18 years old.
  5. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward.
  6. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
  7. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
  8. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
  9. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  10. Two people will often converse while one stares out the window, with their back to the other. When an emotional point is made, the first person will turn around.
  11. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
  12. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
  13. If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear,
  14. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fusion, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.
  15. If you're running from the maniac/spirit/demon/creature, expect to trip and/or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Do not turn to look back, if you do, you stand a good chance of tripping immediately and being killed. If you turn and look back, and you don't see the maniac/spirit/demon/creature chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the maniac/spirit/demon/creature is now in front of you,
  16. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately or else you will quickly die.
  17. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
  18. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead,
  19. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
  20. Science is a dangerous profession. "Good" scientists are killed during the first half of the film, "evil" scientists are destroyed by their creations at the end.
  21. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one without fail.
  22. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris no matter how far it is from the actual location.
  23. Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
  24. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
  25. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
  26. When you cut the wire to the detonator, the timer will stop. You will not be able to do this, however, until only one second remains.
  27. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of you sweetheart back home.