Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Skyfall: Disaster or Delicious?

Hello readers! Today's post is my full fledged, no holds attack.. ahem.. I mean, criticism of the new Bond movie Skyfall which was recently released. To be honest, I lost interest in the Bond movie franchise ever since it was taken over by the ever so wrinkled and sperm-dried Daniel Craig. It lost all appeal and sexy suddenly became old, blond and wrinkled. Fine, I have to admit that for his age his body is just delectable and surprisingly fit, but that doesn't make up for the lack of tact and suaveness required of James Bond. In all honesty he just killed the role and movie. Unlike the first two movies, Skyfall is bludgeoned with more stupid movie cliches than necessary. For instance when the bad guy was caught at the beginning and they were all like "Finally, we copped his ass!". Little did they know that getting caught was part of his stereotypically sick agenda.

Of all the bond girls I actually liked Olga Kurylenko. She was by far the best and sexiest bond girl in the Daniel Craig series. Naomie Harris on the other end always looks like she just came from smoking a cliff while offering her allegiance to Jay-Z. There's just something about her lazy eyes and drunk expression that puts me off. When I watched the movie and then saw this Bond girl, I wanted to regurgitate all the carbon dioxide in the air because it was like Transformers 3 all over again; when they recasted the  leading lady with Rosie Huntington-Whitely who- when compared to the plastic enhanced Megan Fox- resembled last night's leftovers.Oh Olga Kurylenko, please return to being the Bond Girl. :( 

To sum up this pointless review, The movie lacked novelty, the main character lacked fitter abs (his "abs" looked like the salmon I had last night), I was still confused on how the inclusion of Javier Bardem as the villain helped enhance the shit that was the movie and yeah, it was terrible. Frankly speaking, the best thing about the movie was the song, Skyfall by Adele. It is simply amazing and very harmonious. I love it so much.

To read more useless reviews (quite like mine) you may click on these links to read them:
If you want to hear something that is worth your time and will actually save your hearing here you go (click on the link to listen):

Once again, this is simply a review of WHAT I THINK of the movie. Don't be a moron and take it seriously. You may watch the movie (at your own risk) and procure your own opinion. 

PS: An opinion means I can say whatever I want. If you hate it, suck on it. If you disagree, go smoke a tree.

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