Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Zoolander 2: The Review

[WARNING! ACHTUNG! ADVERTENCIA!: Definite Spoiler Alerts Ahead. Read at your own RISK]

Hi there, ye who came across this blog as one of the search engines pop ups  after searching for "Zoolander 2 free online streaming" (cheapskate!). After years -literally years-since my last movie review, I have decided to rekindle this dying category and do a review on a movie I watched exactly less than 30 minutes ago... Zoolander 2, starring, Dumb, Dumber and Moron.
For those of you who remember, there was a little known movie that was released in 2001 (*GASP* 15 years ago!!) starring Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell, Owen Wilson and a slue of other actors called Zoolander. This move was basically about a materialistic and non-intelligent male model Derek Zoolander who took the fashion world by storm with his similar exactly the same I mean seriously all these looks are the same "various" looks aka Blue Steel  and Magnum to name a few, while successfully stopping the evil villain Jakobi Mugatu from killing the Malaysian (?) Prime Minister and taking over the world.

Zoolander 2 is all that minus the Malaysian Prime Minister and the addition of countless numbers of guest celebrities making it a mess. The first movie was really funny and served the purpose of entertaining the audience. Sadly, I can't say the same for the sequel. Talk about the over excessive use of celebrities! Every scene in the movie had a familiar famous face! Even Penelope Cruz, who I assumed went extinct with the dinosaurs, resurfaced as one of the lead characters! The plot of the movie basically revolves around Derek Zoolander having to save his (fat) son's life from the evil Jakobi Mugatu who escaped from prison in the most ridiculous fashion- yes a maximum security fashion prison.

The movie starts off with news of Zoolander being old news and irrelevant in the fashion world especially after his ill named learning center was destroyed due to poor maintenance resulting in teh death of his wife. He then disappears from the world and lives in exile somewhere. One fine day he receives a visit from Billy Zane who convinces him to model at a runway show by Mugatu's beau Alexanya who looks like a human version of diarrhea. So he teams up with the Hansel of lesser fame and get humiliated during the show. Zoolander and Hansel are then approached by B-list actress Penelope Cruz who also works for INTERPOL and are hired to help catch  someone who has been killing off the 'beautiful' people in the world including Justin Bieber (who dramatically gets shot at the beginning and dies after choosing the right Instagram filter for his selfie) to get the fountain of youth in their blood. A couple of feel good moments get thrown in and Zoolander now pledges to look for his son...

... who turns out to be less "cool" than he expected and also is the fountain of youth. As the movie progresses, we find out that Mugatu has been in cahoots with human diarrhea in kidnapping Zoolander's son, literally fattening him over the years at some makeshift orphanage just so that he can sacrifice him to a materialistic fashion designer cult (consisting of famous names such as Alexander Wang, Anna "The White Witch" Wintour, Tommy Hilfiger and several more). So in the end, the whole fountain of youth ideology was made up by Mugatu who simply wanted to gather all the designers in one place and kill them including his nemesis Zoolander's son. Nevertheless more revelations ensue as we find out Alexanya is actually Milla Jovovich fro the first movie, Mugatu's pet poodle is a dummy and Justin Bieber is a terrible actor. 

Overall I'd give the movie my personal rating of 5/10 simply because too much has been done to try to make it funny. Excessive puns, the overuse of celebrities and terrible jokes are the main focus of the movie. Zoolander is a far better movie than Zoolander 2, period. If you are thinking of watching this movie, then I'd recommend that you watch it in the confines of your own home by your illegally downloaded copy. 

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