The Stalker Series: Jessica Lowndes

Hello everyone! Following my recent laziness to update my blog I decided to post at least one post every week. Hm.. sounds fair doesn't it? So in a series of blog posts, i have decided to create a new series called the Stalker  Series. the Stalker Series is like a mini series about some celebrities -male and female- that I either envy, crush on, or have an affinity towards. Enter the life of me that is filled with 13-year old dreams and 50 year old delusions. Evidently, the Stalker Series wont be as creepy as TMZ or as pathetic as PerezHilton.com. So for today's episode, the celebrity that is fortunate enough to be my object of affection is... (as the damn title suggests) Jessica Lowndes. For those of you who are not familiar with her click on this fabulous link ------> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Lowndes  and a timeline of her life shall unveil before your eyes (plus unnecessary information about her highs and lows but i guess if you want to know the important bits you can always log onto this website ------> perezhilton.com/tag/jessica_lowndes/).

To give you a pictorial description of this fine specimen:

Jessica Lowndes

Now Let me describe what a beauty she is. Jessica Lowndes is like Megan Fox + Angelina Jolie + Mila     Jovovich on the scale of ridiculous hotness. I first saw her in Beverly Hills 90210 (the remake with the thinner and more anorexic cast who act like they're on prozac 24/7 ) and hat was when I had a temporary lesbian crush on her and that developed into a permanent heterosexual crush on her. I mean, what's there NOT to like? She's gorgeous, she has a bubbly personality (even though she played the role of an utter bitch on the show) and the best part is that she's not skinny! That gives a great message that you dont have to be skinny to be beautiful. I mean she's not the typical hungry looking celeb, she's well fit and looks great too! I hoep she doesn't turn out like some celebrities who lose weight and become the equivalent of a chopstick. No wait, chopsticks are fatter than her- right, angel hair pasta- soon to be thin like a needle. So all in all, she's one for whom I would definitely go lesbian for. If I were ever to write a vampire series i would definitely employ her to play the lead vampiress. so stay tuned for my next celebrity crush whose name starts with a H.......... . See ya later, perpetrator!

MUAH! 

XOXO, Jenny.

Would you like some RACISM with those lies?

How many times have you received pervasive looks from people when entering any form of public transportation? How many cautious stares have you received from people when entering the lift as the only different race there? How many discreet and implosive racial slurs have you heard behind your back and directly to your face? That, ladies and gentlemen is called RACISM. The very bane of our existence on this earth.The reason why hundreds of thousands of Jews were killed in the Holocaust. The very reason thousands of people in Rwanda in the Genocide have died painful deaths. The reason why a human being cannot live in peace in a foreign country. 

Hello bloggers. The main theme for today's post is racism. It is a fact that irregardless of your race, if you are a foreigner in someone else's land then you will be subjected to every form of racism (verbal, physical or even spiritual). Being an African in a foreign country has exposed me to this racism. Some of them discreet ("I'm not sure if they have your people/ your color/ your skin here"), some of them direct ("...negro...") and some of them expressed through their actions (woman clutches her bag tighter if you so much as glance at her in the lift or when entering a crowded public transport/area they scoot away from you to avoid your skin touching theirs which would create a burn -_-) I wont lie by saying I face this on a daily basis but i do face this on a weekly basis Years of being exposed to this has made me conducive to these racial slurs. 

The motivation for this post arose form my surveying of newspapers this morning and coming across a particularly eye catching illustration that showed a group of blacks/Africans huddled together in a corner and a Malay man running away from them screaming "Haaa...This is not 1Malaysia but 1 Pati who wants to destroy the country. Keep yourself away from Mr Charcoal". Describing the article wont do any good, why don't I just show it to you. 

Incriminating exhibit A: 

According to this amazing comic in a certain government publication (they know themselves), all Africans are depicted as charcoal like beings with big red lips. Hahaha an interesting fact I never knew about myself. Thanks for that inaccurate description you damned publication. Don't be confused: I am actually happy that the Malay Mail has decided to publish this article, I'm pissed about the government publication that published these comics. Worse still, they distributed these during a Taxi drivers gathering of some sort at Bukit Jalil on June 25th (Now we know where those racist taxi drivers get their motivation!). EVEN WORSE we are "charcoal" people. Hm.. another interesting fact i never new about myself. Bravo, you fucking publication!

Even though they promised to investigate this matter, its too late. The people have been brainwashed since June 25th and finding the person responsible for drawing this isn't going to suddenly change their already fixed perception of Africans. Sadly, the media's influence plays a large role in this matter. We, being gullible human beings believe whatever we see on the media without observing this for ourselves. Another thing is I don't blame the media for such racism. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute and imagine there was a particular race causing trouble in your country, you would want to warn your citizens about them right? thats the noble thing to do. What I'm complaining about is that they FUCKING generalize ALL Africans as being the same. The only African country that are causing trouble here are very well known, but instead of focusing on that SPECIFIC nation they ignorantly include ALL African Nations. That is not right.

That is all I have to say on this issue. Please bear in mind hat no-one is being blamed but the media's ignorance. The Malay Mail isn't being blamed, but the publication responsible for such a comic deserves to be sued by all the African Embassies here. No racism towards any nation here, its just my honest opinion. 

PS: If you do feel offended by this article, its not my concern because the last time i checked, a blog is a place where i can post my feelings and opinions. If you don't like it, find some other pretentious blog to read.

Freakin Cheers! 

My middle finger has indeed One Direction!

"Baby you light up my world like nobody else... " (Bitch please, the only one that can light up my life's the sun)

"You got that one thing..." (Yeah, a vagina!)

The annoying sound of five prepubescent boys belting their vocal chords in the hopes of making themselves heard constantly rings across my household on a daily basis. The fact that my two adolescent sisters constantly force One Direction facts into my head (like loyal Directioners) eg. "Did you know Harry has four nipples?" (Yeah, and so do some animals but you don't hear anyone making a fuss about it) or "Niall only has one kidney!" (I know a lot of Hobos and sick people who have one kidney but nobody makes a huge deal about it) or even "Zayn bought a new car!" (Dad just bought a new car, put that on E! too). Yes, sadly, Im stuck in a house full of Directioners. God save me. 

For those who are not familiar on the band and members of the band, let me give you a little introduction on them. Of course I wont give you some Wikipedia thesis on them, This is Jenny's version- REVISED. Overall, One Direction is that band that introduced insulting hits like "What Makes You Beautiful" and annoying beats like "One Thing" (Which definitely has an underlying sexual connotation). They consist of these guys over here:

The only One Direction member who isn't white. I suppose they probably added him  into the group to avoid looking like racists. Vayn (Vain) Malik is one of five sad members of One Direction and two of the three Gay-est members. He is definitely the vainest member and hence he deserves the name Vain Zayn. The only use he has in this band is to uphold their image of being a racially appealing band to the world. (Not that it worked anyway). As an Indian, Vayn has also been blessed with a bevy of thick dark hair which he vainly styles into world monuments and preserves them in a cloud of Hairspray. 

The next member of this ridiculous band is Cant-See Tomlinson. Cant-See is the oldest member of the band and has eyes that makes it seem like he is undressing you with every look. Well.. he isnt as popular as he others so there's really not much to say about him.... I suppose he did express his wish list recently for wanting to buy a fucking monkey (Not not a fucking monkey, a fucking monkey)... Now we know where he got his IQ from.

Ahhh... just when you thought they broke the Boy Band Act of the 1900s! They have a blonde in their group, which is like the basis for every Boy band to be founded upon. Niall Hoe-ran was .. very blonde boy born in Ireland and has been told, resembles Justin Bieber (If they mean mind boggling hair and feminine looks then they're spot on!). Rumor has it he's dating Demi Lovato... OBVIOUSLY she's the perfect target! She's vulnerable, prone to cutting herself and has been to rehab. Perfect candidate for Hoe-rancy. Not much to say about him either...same tart as that Small-Eyes kid. the blonde kid seals the boyband deal. (They could've gotten a leprechaun instead)

PING! And then we have Liam Pain! (Yes the misspelling of the name Payne is intentional). A major Pain in the ass, pan in the guts and also pain to the ears! His sole purpose in the band is to smile and compare himself to the Biebs while flashing his teeth that can be spotted from miles away. His role of being a Directioner also involves lip-synching the lyrics of the song and making pretty boy faces at the camera in their music videos. Major Payne indeed! 

And of course, I have saved the best for last! The creme de la creme of One Direction, the glue that holds the boys together, the driving force behind their creepy smiles... And that honor, ladies and Gentleman, can only got to one person only... Gay-rry Styles! This one is mostly known for his tendency to date women older than him (max. 60 yrs, min. 30 yrs ) who also look like Chewbacca's foot. The most mind-boggling fact about him is  -are you ready for this?- DRUMROLL PLEASE...

..........

..........

... He's a dude. 

I know. I was shocked too. His she-male looks accompanied by his Susan Boyle hairstyle and creepy Barbra Streisand Smile and Milli Vanilli swag. His high pitched wail doesn't help his case at all. But, peeps, he's not a she. He's a he.  Let me give you a moment to absorb that. 

Those five trannys are what makes all the teenage girls have butterflies in their stomachs. Frankly, to me, there;s only One Direction my middle finger can go..... upstairs!

PS: If you are a Directioner and you feel mildly offended by this post, IDGAF. Save it for the comments. 

PPS: If any of you are Non-Directioners, join me in establishing the League of Extraordinary Non-Directioners and we shall eliminate all of these Directioners! Bahahahahah!

Carly Rae Jepsen- Bloggified

Hey you just logged on,
And you're on my blog,
And here's my blogpost,
So comment maybe,

Written and Awesome-fied by Me!

Easy Steps to being my Boyfriend (Lucky, lucky)

Good day fellow Bloggians! Indeed i have been on hiatus as expected but then I come with good news so don't sacrifice me to Kali alright? In the months that I have been missing...(Whoops!), a countless number of things have happened to me and those around me. I noticed some very disturbing things about my life. Firstly, that for the 3 years that i have been studying in my course, I am still not satisfied with it. I mean, my original line of study was Fashion Designing just so that i could walk in the same wavelength as the likes of Marc Jacobs, Zac Posen, John Galliano, Anna Sui and etc. Too bad Dad thought it was an "unreliable" line of study and decided to place me in some university i never heard good things about. Until today I regret not secretly signing up for  Elite Fashion Academy or the Parsons School of Design and then hopefully being accepted so that my dad would have no choice but to let me study there.

The second thing that I find especially disturbing is that  I'm still single. What the heck is this? What's fucking wrong with me? Could it be that I'm not up to the Attractiveness Standards of some men? Or could it be that I myself have set some impossibly high standards for the men.

O.O

Well, my criteria for what i want in a guy are so simple to accomplish. Its not like I require a guy to get me a magical unicorn that was sent down by Zeus and fulfills my every worldly wishes... *quickly scratches that off he list*. Hey! But if that was possible why not? ~_~ Ultimately what I want in a guy is:

1. He can be of any race (except certain races which i shall not mention for fear of being branded a racist towards that specific race)- but preferably European (Hispanic <3) or Australian.
2. He doesn't have to be too well off but well enough to support us.
3. He must have a viewable face.
4. He MUST NOT be shorter than me. Special cases where he is allowed to be the same height as me is when he is so impossibly gorgeous that my brain immediately overlooks his height.  
5. He has to tolerate me.
6. He MUST buy me an eagle as the dowry for our marriage PLUS the money. (Special Cases where he cant find an eagle and gets me an Owl instead.)

And this here is a deal breaker...

    7. He HAS to have a sense of HUMOR (You know, the feeling where he has to laugh?)

Yes, and that's my amazing list of things i want in a guy. Not so hard to accomplish right? Jeez, Jenny, you might as well die old and wrinkled... STFU, you damn conscience! :) So at the end of the day hats what's been disturbing me. And to make matters worse, i feel like the second issue has been slapping itself on my face.  95 percent of my buddies have boyfriends. Out of that 95%, 70% are engaged, 20% are married and the 5% are unsure....possibly confused. I swear to God, if a guy with all these qualities accidentally tripped in front of me (and he looked like Sean Faris/Armando Torrea/Cam Gigandet/ Corey Sevier/ Ricardo Medina Jr/ That guy from White Collar/ Any hot guy) i would definitely catch him!

So note to self: Jenny STOP HAVING SUCK A FUCKED UP LIST OF EXPECTATIONS IN A GUY! ;-D

Until then, En Garde people! 

xoxo

Thou shalt not d'lete thy exes

Hi readers! This has been the shittiest week of my life so far. I mean, its just the first week since we got back from the holidays and I'm already feeling distressed! WTH? And the person responsible for this is my ex Aidan. He has really been fucking with me a lot(just a figure of speech- NOT literally!) especially during the holidays and he really thinks I'm some kind of puppet! Well, Aidan, you son of a really good woman known as your mother, I'm not a puppet and you are not my puppeteer.

I checked my Facebook a few minutes ago and then i was about to go to his page so that i could check out his activities and  stuff (honestly i dunno why i care... but i do, sadly) and then i realized he DELETED ME! What an UNCLE FUCKER! OK, i know i shouldn't care but then OUCH. I'm human and when you delete me as your friend its really OUCH! Stupid B******!

So anyway tthat was one of a series of shit that ruined the beginning of my weekend. Fuck it.

The primary lesson in today's blog is.. Thou shalt not d'lete thy exes.

xx

Where art thou, Hol'days?

Yes, the question speaks for itself. I totally have no idea where the holidays have gone? My three week break took a hiatus when I just realised that I have a whopping two days to be lazy.

I hate the fact that at the beginning of the holidays, I had these amazing ideas on what I would be doing and one of them involved working on my Fashionland and Casual Couture line which I haven't done jack!

You know what? Today I'm definitely going to work on at least 3 dresses for fashionland and an outfit for Casual Couture.

Wish me all the best readers!

XX

Could it be....?

Good evening readers! I'm mobile blogging again and I love it! Today I'm going to write about mixed feelings. I am having mixed feelings now towards this guy who I recently became close with.

Let me fill you in on him. He is from a similar country as mine and really nice to hang out with because he is funny and an all around wonderful person. Here's the catch (you ready folks?)- he is GASP short. And he is balding too. Ok, I know I shouldn't be materialistic but then...the bald part is serious as it can pass down to our children! Definitely not something I want to burden my kids with!

Ok so we have been hanging out a lot lately and I felt we grew closer as friends and confidants. Everything was just fine until two weeks ago when we were hanging out at the mall and then he did something that made our whole relationship really awkward and created an imaginary and uncomfortable wall between us. That moment when he did that. ..I was shocked that he actually had the guts to do it. Like how could he!

But that was not what caused the mixed feelings within me. The causal factor is that I suspect he feels the same way but is trying so hard not to give it away. God! This is where I don't know what to do! I'm so sacred that he might do the inevitable and ask me out.

What the fuck do I do then! Jeepers! I honestly do hope that these feelings that I am dangerously starting to develop towards him are unreal and a figment of my imagination. What I truly hope is that they go away. I don't want to feel that way.

At the end of the day, we are only human so these feelings that we tend to develop are normal. We just have to make sure that these feelings do not lead to us hurting ourselves and being misguided into a pit of betrayal and pain.

Until then, I'm out.

I am human and I need to be loved

Hello world! Thanks for throwing the worst at me! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!! Anyway, drama aside , it has been 4 months since I broke up with him. That break up did two things to me. It made me more careful about the world and men in general and it made me change myself a lot. The change I underwent after the break up turned me into a better person physically and mentally.

I admit it took a huge toll at me in the sense that it affected me a lot. I would torture myself whenever he got too close to a girl. I became more paranoid in trying to find out who he is dating or interested in. I would go to the extent of stalking his facebook profile for any relationship changes or any pictures taken with a girl.

That was the sign of a deranged psychopath. I didn't and never want to go back to being that woman. I never want to repeat that awful phase again. I don't deserve it at all. I deserve the best like everyone else, after all, I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.

Now, in 2012, I am whole again. I am over him and I do hope he is over me too. I want to move on from that incident and paint a new picture on my slate.

That is life. One minute you make it and the next- you break it. Its the cycle of life. We just have to abide by the rules of God.

Amin.

He shall see me through and help me with this ordeal.

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