Cliques Declassified in UIA, Part II: The MISSING ONE

Hello my faithful readers. Im back with part II of the previous posts and damn are there more cliques in UIA and now they have their own leaders who will be identified so that u can either avoid these groups or join them. Here's the glitch!

THE ET'S...

Well I'm willing to bet that the first thing that popped into your

mind was this guy wasnt i right?

Hah thats not what i meant by "ET". What i'm talking about are these people here...

They are basically the most dangerous creatures in the vast jungles of UIA. They dominate the darket corners of every retaurant and they are the kings of the alleys. They have enough emosity to defeat Darth Vader himself- but watch out- they're recruiting new members. It doesnt matter how you behave as long as you meet their requirements of having sloppily greased and gelled hairthat hides half their faces, smarmy and depressing grins on your face and an everlasting supply of pot Oh- and very tight pants. They also dominate the Malay convenience store.

Appearance: Long greasy hair plastered with oily gel falling on their faces, very tight and size xxxxxxxxxxxxxxs pants that highlight unwanted parts that need not be viewed, pale-ish skin littered with sprinklings of pimples, NOTE that everything they wear is black...or very tartan... tartan shoes is a must for them.

What NOT to do around them: Avoid expressing any varied form of happiness/joy/enthusiasm or love. An Never start the conversation with "You know what i did today...[This is uttered happily]". And whenever there is happy news to be passed around, avoid smiling when presenting this news.. make as miserable a face as possible. Trust me.

How their conversations usually go:

• Emo A: "I got an A for my Maths...."[said depressingly]
• Other Emos: "Great...let's cut each other's wrists to celebrate..."[Depressing silence follows]

yeeaahhhh...

thats basically iiittt....

THE "ET" THAT DIDNT KNOW....

THE DISCOVERY

This is a fiasco! This is an outrage! OMG! today was the day that i found a very shocking discovery about who those guys who always call my name annoyingly out of the male hostels and then hide behind the windows!! I have discovered their identity... They are from the ET clan....

[X- Files theme song plays...]

Sounds Mysterious eh? Well lemme tell you something of the ETs- they are gross... They are the scum of the earth, they are the worst human beings on earth and unfortunately for me i am very famous among them. They strut around UIA in their skinnys (skinny jeans) and small baby shirts clutching at a cigarette for dear life while puffing their lives away so gallantly. What does "ET" stand for? ET stand for EMO THING. Why that name? Because that's exactly what ther are. They are emo things that need to bathe/hygienically fumigate their bodies and keep themselves presentable to the public's sensitive eyes.

EURGH! EMOS... sorry lemme paraphrase that... M**** Emos....

Well, anyway it all began at that time when i had dinner with them which i now realise was the gravest mistake that i made in my life...

...little did i know...

Then recently one of the emos is like starting to stare at me very very creepily...which started at this ntime when i was with Andrea at the photocopy shop and inside that shop was sooo stuffy! I wanted a breather so i walked outside, grabbed a few breaths, and caught the guy staring at me very intently... i looked back at him for a few menial seconds and turned back to the store muttering my usual, "Yeeeaaaaaahhhhh.... ooooooook-kkkkkkkkkk". Drea looked at me and asked what was up and i briefly told her about it and got the usual reaction- the look of surprise, disgust and the the Cringe. go figure!

ANd from that night on, that weird guy has been catching glimpses of me when he could (sick aiite?). There was this time when we were waiting for our food outside CFS cafeteria and then there was an "Emo conference" (this meeting of emos from all likes of UIA) two tables away. Then at one point while i was desperately trying to ignore the existence of this huge mass of EMOs all in one place, i guess someone said something and they all turned to look at me!

I shrunk under the glare of their looks and felt greatly uncomfortable...

...and ya think thats all...?

....no it aint all....

well, today i had my CCT exam which sucked shit but thats not the point! I was so convinced that the ETs wont be attending this exam because this subject was only being offered to grad students ONLY. But my oh, my! That weirdo was there! I was soo surprised! And all the time during the exam he always turned to look at me and i could feel his eyes boring into my soul... it was damn uncomfortable...

....why oh why am i being plagued by idiotic, ugly and nonsensically brainless gusy who dont know the difference between a shower and a bath?

WHHHHHYYYYY...

U knwo u love, LOVe, LoVe...

me...

Operation Banana #1: The love banana

OH my god!!! AHHHHHH... just yesterday, my guy M(how possessive of me!) Gave me a banana!! Now you might be wondering what is soo exciting about that? Well, this is the guy that i have been all head over heels for this whole year!! My gosh.. he is the cutest human being on earth... How did the whole Operation Banana go?

It all began with a simple call at like six something in the evening from Sarah**'s friend from next door who was asking whether we would like to have dinner with her dada and her- all paid for! (how cool is that??!?!) [Dudez! u know that i am a sucker for basically anything that doesnt require me to fish out a single cent from my pockets]

And so we agreed to go and beautified ourself what with all the pimping and the tweaking of hair, face and tudungs. We readied ourselves and waent downstairs to wait for the man. While we were at it we decided to take a few meaningless photos and then the girl got a call that her dad will meet us at the nearby restaurant called BBN. Gosh!

So we walked there and took the table near the Karaoke Machine ( God help us if someone was going to sing that night...) And then D man came himself and i wont bother writing about the conversation because there wasn't much said and all that. So we left after having huge platefuls of Nasi Goreng with gravy and we all went to GIANT- this cheap albeit crappy department store that sucks dick- to buy several things .

OK...

This is it...

We were on our way there and in the middle of the road (i was with Amelia) all of a sudden i heard a call of, "Amelia, Amelia**" We turned to our side and It was Sam and Mika (my crush!). We lobbied over to them and Sam started goobling in their language and I was quietly looking at the ground and smiling to myself for getting this wonderful opportunity to be able to see him. Then he reached into his bag and extracted a banana...

A BANANA.... EEEEEEEEE........

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I could hardly contain myself! I looked at the banana a bit longer than was intended and then received it in my grasp. OMG! i was literally bursting with incandescent joy in me that i couldn't contain my enthusiasm at having received a BANANA from the guy that i have a crush on in my uni... EEEEEEE!

Oh, well thats it.

Thats the big surprise that had me hanging and glowing for days.

u know u love love LOVE me...

What a disaster (and all for dinner?)

Hello again my bloggers after several months of not writing for you readers out there. Today... i was officially crowned as a "Tudung Labuh" girl, sounds awful rite? go figure...There are several things that need to be considered before donning the tudung labuh:

1) It may be excruciatingly hot in it.

2) Guys will serenade you from their windows and ask where you are going in corrupted Malay.

3) You get wanted and unwanted attention from weird people.

Anyway, todsay was the day of my first exam- Political Science- and boy did I study my ass off for it! So me, Andrea**, and Holly** got prepared for going for the exam at MPN, Holly truned to me and said : " I challenge you to wear the pink tudung labuh with that dress!" (I was wearing pink at that time.)I stopped mid scarfing and turned to look at her in amazement, was she totally serious? i mean, as if i would don that BIG and HEAVY tudung labuh ever! Was what went on in my mind at that time and of course i didnt voice it out.

"No, " i said flatly. Holly didnt cringe for a minute and seemed to be in thought then she snapped her fingers and declared that she was going to get me a full dinner, and dessert if i DO wear that tudung labuh. That offer was one heck of a roaring one! Damn! I simply couldnt ignore such and offer coming out of Holly's moving lips for the first time in UIA!!

Whoah, Girl!

So i accepted that offer and braced the outcome of the consequences of my actions. I donned that horendously heavy albeit pink thing and travelled to the exam hall. Man was it a hot day! Little beads of sweat formed in my head and made a convoluting path down my forehead. I complained about the tudung and and how hot it was making me. I was sooo totally stumped and to top it all off, when i reached the hall all the students who were used to seeing me obscenely dressed (acc. to my understanding of Islam), STARED AT ME- like i was a Gorgon from planet Gorgonite.

Get a fucking life people!!!

Anyway i sat behind Andrea in the exam hall and Holly was lost somewhere. Then we had to move and i found myself sitting in fornt of FBB who was really being a major pain in the buttock! (Andrea was unfortunately surrounded by the likes of UHU**, BT, Alvin, and messy and yucky guys- my sympathy goes out to her). He kept reminding me how the tudung made me look like a lectureer- ARGH! The NERVE!!! And the the papers were handed out he kept quiet and all through the examination he kept kicking my chair expecting me to stupidly give him the answers. But of course i ignored him and instead focused on my work and i think he got annoyed and moved to the farthest corner to cheat.

I finished early and busied myself with salivating at the yummy details of the most hottest male lecturer on campus- Bel. He's 26 and he is SMOKIN HOT!!! The downfall of him is that he is short- but the replacement of that is that he has a really sexy accent in his English.

Mmmm...

After i finished i went outside and conversed about the admittedly easy paper with a classmate of mine and suddenly UHU comes up to me and asks, without a single glance at my direction,

"How was the paper?" and our five minute conversation went on with him not looking at me once! Instead he was looking at the opposite side of me.

Bopsticks!

So me, Holly and Andrea made our way to Block-B to buy dinner and after we ordered we sat down and waited for our food to be prepared we spied a coupla people like BT, and "Quasimodo"- his face is like the character himself but he ahs a hot and lean bod! RAWR!!! And then a couple of stupid neanderthals from the second floor who stupidly peep and then hide (yes, indeed they are shirtless, EW) and they called out my name as in

• "Hawa! Argh! OOOH!! EEE!!! AAAAAHHH!! (in a girlish pitch)"
• "Hawa, pergi mana ni?"
• "Hawa!!!" (then quickly hide behind the window)

MORONS.

And that was how my freakin day freakin went...and i hope that will motivate you youngsters out here not to wear Tudung labuhs!!

U know u love, LOVE, LoVe, me...

Cliques Declassified in UIA

Hello. Today's topic is more inclined towards the newbies or whoever in UIA wants to be aware of these people). Today I will tell you, or rather warn you about the cliques or rat packs that are very common in UIA and always travel together- NO MATTER WHAT. Some are popular and some are unpopular, some came from the generous side of the gene pool and some came from the deep end and are still dripping wet. The only warning i have for you is to watch out for them and never ever cross their paths- even if your life depended on it.

Firstly we have....







Beware! The owners of tinkling and annoyingly tiny laughter that echoes through their whole clique and resounds several times in your head. They are always traveling in HUGE packs and are always on the lookout for innocent victims to gossip about and to inflict their annoying laughter at those innocent enough to be their prey. GMG stands for Giggling M**** Girls.

Appearance: Always wear the pinkest and most girliest baju kurungs ever and they always carry the pinkest and most tiniest bags. And they always smile really wide.

What Not to do around them: Gossip. Never. Ever. That gossip will get you back someday- real BAD!!! But whenever you wnat to spread lies then ask a GMG to do it for you.

How their conversations usually go: "Hi...Hi, [insert name here]...hi[insert the same name here], hi, hi ,hi, hi [insert name for the third time here]..."

Next are...

Rich, Socialites and Avid Shopaholics- who wouldn't wanna join the Benilites? Perfect lives they lead, don't they? I mean, They are rich, smart, skinny or slim, fashionistas (they just gotta have the latest in everything!), attractive, usually get the eye of all the cuties around and they live next door. I dont think that they are such monsters- only if you dnt know them- if you know them then they are cool with you.
Appearance: They are usually skinny or voluptuous and some even carry a LeSportsac Bag!!! They are quite plain sometimes(and sometimes its hard to tell whether they are Benilites or others...) They dont wear heavy makeup lie the GMGs and they do gossip but in private. They always squat in each other's rooms and never associate with people that they dont know. they shop almost every weekend and they never eat amountuously. Some f them even sleep 24/7 and they are from the course called BEN. They are usually girls.

What NOt to do around them: Never ever criticize their opinions or the guys that they think is cute! Trust me i have faced the consequence of that already [ At that time they were lamenting on whether R** was cute or not and it was really sickening the way that they were fantasizing about him. And when one of them squealed "R** is like really cute!" i piped up and said "Ew...!!! He is so NOT!!". Bad move. They all glared at me like i was a terrorist and i shut up] When you meet them its best NOT to wave at them- they might not wave back at you or even acknowledge you- just smile. Really.

How their conversations usually go: "I wanted to be a dentist at first but then i dont like al the saliva and all that..." [note: this is usually said in high and nasally fake- American accents.]

Next are the AV geeks,


They are the most dangerous species of clique. They always await in a corner so that they can attack the innocent with their knowledge of Quantum Physics or Mathematics or Computer Science, by forcing onto then the principles of the laws of motion and Algebra. The innocent will yell in pain as useful information absorb into their brain and stay there...FOREVER...

Appearance: Pulled up pants (sometimes with braces), teeth braces, huge smiles, tucked in and highly raised pants up to their chest, buck teeth, shoes.....you know what? Just look at the guy on the photo, ok?

What NOT to do around them: Never ever start conversation with: Politics, Science, your favorite book, what you think about things/people, American presidents, Physics, ANY subject at ALL.. no matter what it is... actually DO start any conversation with them.

How their conversation usually go: "Today, i reached level 45 in DOTA..."

Next up...


Posh, sons of Rich Politician/Diplomat/ Datuks, they strut around UIA and flaunt their hot bodies and muscular arms which emphasizes long hours at the gym and playing football. What else can i say...they are POYO meaning Showoffs and Very Very Vain!.

Appearance: Polo shirts, tight fitting pants, tight shirts, leather wallets, nice leather shoes, and basically....they are airheads when it comes to academics.

What NOT to do around them: Never ever compliment them on their pysique or body or whatsoever. They will feel too lightheaded and that they are at the top of the world... And dont try to ask them question related to academics. Why? Because they cant come up with any answer for it at all!!
How their conversations usually go: "Ah...Uh..uh...duh..."
coming up next...

They are super religious, cover their aurat properly and never ever swear (except for Holly** who is not in the club at all...), never go out to dinner, are never rebelious, never gossip or utter a single word about anyone, soft hearted and really nice (except for a crazy one named D.)

Appearance: The simple thing would be to look at the picture...duh!

What NOt to do around them: Swear, gossip, say rude things or even joke!(you see the TLC have different way of joking and i assure you that it is not the slap in the back kind joke at all... its the humorless kind of jokes that you laugh at just out of politeness.)
How their conversations usually go: "Our Muslim society nowadays are dwindling......Islamic politics.....blah, blah, blah..."

And lastly we have...


WARNING: They may blind you or paralyse you with the intense glare of their genetically unattractive faces and thier physically big/skinny bodies. The are always so messy and so unkempt and they dont care to maintain their appearance at all! They are tha Jocks/POYOs worst enemies.

Appearance: Messy, gritty, bad, dandruff smeared hair, yucky faces littered with a heavy dusting of pimples and acne. need i tortue you with the yucky details of them anymore?

What NOT to do around them: Note: Dont even BE near them.

How their conversations usually go: "I never washed my hair for three days lats week and i still didnt..." (EW much!!)

Well my faithful readers those are the traits and the characteristics of the cliques that are soo normally found loitering around my university campus.... Oh, sure you CAN make friends with them.....At YOUR OWN RISK.

U know u Love, LOVE, LoVe, me..

I am Stubborn, Part 1: The Changing of Beds

Hi. Todays blog post is all about stubborn roomies who don't really wanna listen to their own rules (or even others). Well, in my dorm there are two of them- Amelia** and Sarah**. They are very very good friends...don't get me wrong, its just that they are stubborn!! You are probably wondering why i am saying this without any proof at all well guess what? I HAVE PROOF OF THIS according to these cases:

CASE #1:The Changing of beds
Ok, we just came back from Holidays (yea, that same holiday where FBB approached me) and before the holidays we all agreed between us ["Us" here refers to- Amelia**, Sarah**, Andrea**, Omaira**, Francesca**, me, Holly**, Angy** and Jessie**] that we would reserve new beds for next sem because we are like on the top bunk of the bed and its very very strenuous to climb all the way there just to sleep or to rest (except for Andrea** who is comfortable where she was...) .

Great idea right and rightfully when someone reserves their place by putting their things there then they own that place right? But not according to Amelia**. Amelia wanted this Malay Girl under her before(lets call her Adi**)'s bed but Adi** (smart girl) didnt move her stuff and so that bed was still hers. And so Amelia** had no choice but to change beds...she spotted a bed in the corner and then selected that bed (but the thing is that the corner is dark and creepy and you dont get any fan at all!) and then she and Sarah** came up with this brilliant- albeit really stupid idea- of moving that bed in between Omaira**/ Serena** and Holly**/Alma**'s bed. Smart, innit?

NOT!

So they moved that bed in between Omaira's** bed and then- surprise, surprise!- there was no space at all for the upper bunkers to climb...Gosh! Smart, huh? and then teh other roomies started to trail in and the first one to come was Madeline** (whom Sarah took the bed from). Her eyes were wide with shock at this new change and then S explained the situation and M went to her mother who called S "gila" [Crazy in English] and went off in a huff.

Our other roomie was more understanding- Aly** and she just accepted the whole situation calmly. Thena day after that whole fiasco, Amelia** had the nerve to actually ask for Adi's** bed and to exchange with her! Yeesh, these peope!! So poor Adi, she had to change beds outta niceness and so these are the new arrangements of the beds...

Desiree**/new student...Jessie**/new student...Angy**/new student... Sarah**/Alana**... [currently] Amelia**/Madeline**... Francesca**/Marie**..., and then on the left side, Omaira**/Aly**...Adi**/Serena**..Holly**/Alma**..and me/Andrea**...

Crappy Arrange ment much? Solmnly agreed upon!

Await episode two of I Am Stubborn: The Desk-Snatcher a.k.a Why Study Late?

U know u Love, LoVe, LOVE me....

Outta My Head a.k.a Lecturers- Season I:Prologue

Well, hello my faithful readers...I am back...and i have a lot to tell you today, there are a lot of random things going on in my head and all i want now is for them to get outta my head!!! ARGH!!! Things are like literally spinning in my head right now... well those things have better get outta my head or i might become really cranky!!!

Haha... lemme get to the topic of my lecturers, ahem! my new lecturers.. they really are a variety of people really! Okay, this sem I am taking six subjects, so that means that I have six lecturers in that package.
Communication Lecturer: His name is Sir Isaac** and he is a damn right flirt!! Whenever he talks to you he will wink at you, or give you this boyish smile and (get this straight) flirt with you! I mean Gosh! It would be okay if he was a teeny bit more younger, but the fact that he is extremely OLD and physically bent out of shape fails to make it OK for him to flirt/wink/smile boyishly at us girls. And thats what he does for the girls...to the boys, he tells them how handsome they are (especially FBB and R**) and he keeps linking FBB to me albeit pointing me to FBB!! E.g.

"Oh, look at you brother (meaning FBB)...so handsome and strong! Maybe Sister [insert my name here] will like to date you or for you to be her girlfriend...nanti bolehlah keluar dating pula!"

Oh my god! He has caused me tremendous discomfort in his class but the con about him is that he is tremendously funny! Whenever he says something he will always be acting it out or will say it with some weird facial expression!!! Funny old Jacker! He is like any other 60-something year old that you can see roaming around, grey slacks, blue shirts and all- except his blue shirt has a PLAYBOY logo on it!!! How absurd is that for an Old man!

Anyway that explains a LOT about his rambunctuous and flirtatious behaviour!

[And because of this i wouldn't be surprised if he showed up in class one day and announced that he has a crush on one of the guys in our class- it could be R**, FBB, Eli**(a.k.a sleepy Eyed), emo hair (i dunno that guy's name), or even Sandler**(a.k.a gay like guy)]

Basic research methods and Report writing lecturer: Her name is Madam Delilah** and when she teaches us she looks really bored- like she really doesn't wanna be there but she is beacause she is being paid to do so. Trust me, i'm not saying that she's a bithchous hag who's thinks we bore her to death but she's gotta be more animated when teaching us. She teaches us in this really long and drawling voice like those bored junkies in the streets of KL who beg for weed-cash, e.g:

"Today we will study about the principles of reasearching and report writing, ok? And also we will learn to investigate...[blah,blah,blah]..."
Boring, innit? She wears the national Malaysian clothes and these ginormous spectacles that resemble magnifying glasses (only they dont nagnify her eyes-thank God! or she would look like an Owl!) and basically she's cool but i would enjoy her class better if only she was more animated...

Critical and Creative thinking Lecturer: She doesnt like the world (like me!), she's sarcastic (like me!) and SHE'S AWESOME!!!! I LIIIKE HER!!!! hse exudes witty humor and flat sarcasm which is like, sooo awesome and totally cool...she sounds intimidatinmg at first but- she rocks. Her English is lined with the air of British-ity and it sounds really upperclass- like Gregorian or something but etched with the right touch/hint of slang. Here's how she introduces herself:

"My name is Amber** and i am 34 years old...hm... there are a lot of things that i like and dont like in this world...actually i dont like most things...i dont speak to you outside of class and you dont speak to me as well, i wont answer any of your calls...though you can SMS me but dont expect me to reply to it...i am expecting to have a baby soon and if u push my wrong buttons then i will be forced to unleash my dark side... and its NOT pretty...what do i like? hm... i used to like shoes but since i came here...i dont..."
She is really small...and she's perky and she actually looks good....for a 34year old of course....yyeeaahhh... if only she and i could join forces and force our sarcasm and evil onto the world- WORLD DOMINATION!!!

History Lecturer: He's Boring. His name is Sir Adam** and we had him ever since last sem for Sociology and Anthropology. And lemme tell you something... he is the best Fumbler in the world! I dont know whether he loves to fumble or whether its his habit or something... or maybe he's just very nervous with himself because somebody is there... ok lemme tell you the love story of a lecturer and his student...

Once Upon a time, there was an innocent student named Andrea**(she's also my roomie) and she had a mad crush on Sir adam (innit perfect? A and A ...awww...) [dont worry i will tell you more of their love story on my next blog titled "Weird love (orsomething like it?): the series"] and so he's always nervous whenever he's with her or when she's present...and so he has a crush on her (maybe love?) I mean Gosh! i even have proof of his undying love for her! During one class he actually said this to her:

"...my Andrea**..." (aw...how romantic!)

Anyway, lets just hope that she can learn to love him just like he loves her too... Sir Adam** also likes to say a load of bullshit that is tootally not related to the subject being discussed- and he loves to say Uber lame stuff that he ripped from TV series and Movies...e.g:

"The truth ...[epic pause]...is out there..." (he says this while looking at Andrea**)[Ripped from The X-files]

Sir Adam** really needs intense counselling. Period.

Political Science Lecturer: Actually I have never started class with him so far... but i have a hunch that its our former Contemporary Issues teacher...and that is Sir Mason**! The best, coolest, awesome, most intelligent and super teacher in the whole world!!! So, far in this Uni, i think that he is the best teacher ever! His teaching skills are really effective and i respect him a lot. He is chubby (in a cute way of course!), he has a thin beard and a thin moustache and he rocks my world!!!

I am always eager to go to his classes because they rae really interesting and you can actually laugh at them heartily and not as if you are being forced to do so! All my respect to you sir Mason**!

FIM Lecturer: I rarely know her, just that her name is Madam Alexis** and that she is looks like a nice woman. (nice, kind brown eyes, nice smile and a soft voice to close the package.) well i dunno- she might turn out to be a bitchous hag or she might turn out to be an evangelic human being...we'll wait and see...

And those are the lecturers that we have for this semester. And of course there are those that you see 24/7 and dont really acknowledge their existance, like:

Madam Hania**: She is the coolest teacher ever! She's plump and really cute! her favorite quote is "...oh...let me catch my breath...." Haha! Thats a knockout line!! She's like really nice and she loves to joke with the other lecturers. [Incident 101: Mdm. Hania** was telling a joke and she was laughing and she turned to Brother Alex** in a backslapping gesture and (poor thing!) was greeted with a really hostile look form him...and did that stop her from laughing? No way Jose! it didnt, and she continued to laugh, as always!]

Brother Alex**: A sexual pervert who keeps glancing at other students(especially girls) and greeting them with hostile glances. And although certain people say that he is like, really nice, he's not! People!Open your eyes and realise that his British accent, charming looks, and hearty smile are all an act! For more Information on his inhumanityness refer to incident 101.

Sir Mohinder**: The strictest, most scary human being on campus...i dread the day i actually have to talk to him... he has this signature walk that is really brisk and he also never smiles at you at all!!!

Geezer much?

Hah! that all on my lectureres here and i hope that i have entertained u and not bored you with the petty details of my lecturers...

haha...U know u love, LOVE, LoVe me...

Eja me Cieres...? (Does he Fancy me?)- Part II

Well, remember about part one in my series of unfortunate events...? Well, this is Part Two of it...and this is how the story goes...

After my Emceeing i went to the back of the stage and received high praises form the others mainly Nate** and my Daddy 3**. As i was hanging out with the other comittee members, FBB comes real close to me (like our faces were and inch apart) and he stares at me, this boyish smile playing around his lips. I stared at him real strange and he came even closer (at that moment, if it was a v.v. romantic movie, then we would have kissed) and indicated his eyebrows to me. I was really surprised at this sudden gesture and then he said, "Look, they are soo real! I can even bring a magnifying glass and show you the tiny hairs on them!" Man at that point i thought that he was getting quite desperate to show me that his eyebrows were real. And so we talked for like 2 hours and he told me lots on himself and his family and Gosh! did we have a LOT in common: His mom looves Indonesian films and so does his sister... same with me, He thinks that Indonesian Films are Crap... and so do I...

And all through our conversation he kept insisting that his eyebrows are real in many different versions:

"My eyebrows are real i swear!" and,

"I can bring a magnifyer so that you can see the little hairs" and,

"I dont pluck because it is Haram to do that!" and even,

"My eyebrows are NOT fake."

And also he kept repeatedly complimenting me on my really glossy lips:

"Your lips are sooo like Angelna Jolie," and,

"I dont like the thin Asian lips, but i like lips like yours because they are big and nice," and,

"Your lips are sooo kissable and very sexy!"

Yeeaahh.

Then after that night he constantly SMS's me, Miscalls me, calls me "Princess" or "Angelina Jolie" And we are practically friends now. I mean, what creeped me out was the fact that he ACTUALLY changed his group so that we could be in the same group for our Courses...strange huh?

Dont get me wrong, i'm not saying that its a BAD thing, its actually nice to know that some one is actually thinking about you everyday...innit? I was really flattered that a guy like FBB approached me in the first place. I mean, yes i have seen him around but i never actually approached him in fear that he was vain and wouldnt wanna talk to a girl like me... But then the fact that HE approached ME kinda changed all my negative views about him in all aspects. FBB is not like any of those sleepy-eyed, bad-breathed, snot-nosed, pockfaced Malays that you constantly have to bear the image of everyday- He is different. Different in the way that he is handsome, if not very handsome (for a Malay guy) and he has a perfect-all-American-winning-white-smile teeth that are soo straight and not a canine or molar is out of place, his face is clear (for a guy), his lips are just moderate, his eyebrows are every girl's fantasy, and his eyes are very very piercing.

Sounds like every girl's dream guy innit? Well, i'm not sure if he is MY dream guy... but who knows maybe in the future, if he finds some way to win my heart in a HUGE way then i might actually consider him more than just a friend...

...but who knows...i'm just saying it and it doesnt mean that i mean it...

U know u love, LOVE, LoVe me...

P:S: Feel Free to Check Out my other Blog on my page titled "My College Survival guide"

Eja me Cieres...? (Does he Fancy me?)

Hello readers, todays topic is crushes. I am sure that all of you out there definitely HAVE crushes... yeah you do...don't lie... I know...

Just in Case my readers are young and haven't experienced the bounties and the feelings of seeing your crush at school...then listen to this, straight from my Ergonomic Dictionary of Love Defs.

[Crush,n,sing: a feeling of likeness that you have towards that special someone]

And so I have a little story of my own that i will indeed tell you all, and mind you it has happened to me very recently...

It all started at the Ta'aruf week...

You see i was the Emcee for the Ta'aruf week for specific events... now come to think of it i HATED it at first but then things got a little more interesting than expected... And so on one of the nights when i was indeed hosting for Ta'aruf... a boy (lets call him FBB here and don't bother asking me what it stands for cos i wont tell you!) ...FBB came up to me and then he asked...

"What's that all over your lips?" [dumb much!] and i looked at him as if he was something that was crushed by my shoe and is all squishy and gross. Was he kidding me? Doesn't he know what LIPGLOSS is? How can he LIVE???

[NOTE: Every human being regardless of gender, age or maturity MUST know what LIPGLOSS is or they will be seriously punished by the HIGH court of Fashion and Accessories]

And so i gave him a wry smile and told him that "It is some thing that girls wear and it is called Lipgloss"(of course i said it defiantly!) and then i was shimmied off by the committee to do my stuff which was the basic thing... But a i took a break while the speakers were talking...A girl named Katherine** sat next to me and i let out a huge sigh which she didn't notice. Why did i let out that VERY huge sigh?- Because Katherine** is the most annoying student on UIA..next to my roommate Desiree** ; BECAUSE SHE JUST WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! I try to get rid of her but then she comes back like an annoying mosquito (i really don't mean to be rude or insulting or even mean, but it cant be helped!).

And so Katherine** leisurely takes a seat next to me and grills me about my emceeing as if it was her mission in life to make mine miserable! I let my eyes stray for a moment and then they rested on FBB who was sitting across me and was Chace-Crawford-a.k.a-Nate-ly staring intensely at me... i felt really uncomfortable at that. i asked Katherine** why he was staring and she actually said, "MAybe he likes you!" and crazily laughed after that. I just stared at her unfeelingly and resumed my staring at my surroundings. Her phone beeped and She laughed to herslef i got annoyed and asked hwat it was that she was laughing about and it turns out that, she was texting FBB!!!!

I did a double take and then i told her to sms this to him, courtesy of me:

ME-> I THINK THAT YOU HAVE REALLY NICE FACE AND REALLY NICE EYEBROWS...BUT I THINK THAT THEY ARE FAKE.

FBB-> OMG!!! NO! THEY ARE SO REAL!! I SWEAR!!!

ME-> IT'S KINDA HARD TO BELIAVE THAT...THEY DON'T LOOK REAL AT ALL...

FBB-> OMG! OK, YOU CAN HAVE A VERY CLOSE LOOK AT THEM LATER...

And Damn i gotta emcee right then and so i couldn't reply...

So I...

And then I...

Do you really wanna know what happened between me and FBB? haha that is another story to tell... Wait for part II in Eja me Cieres?

U know u Love me,

Pulling my strings...

Today was an effing boring day!! Right now i am in the library which is swarmed by weird new students and insect-like children in between watching Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back- the movie which is effing awesome... i mean Gosh!!! how boring can my day get?!? I have to attend and also Emcee the Ta'aruf crap awards or shit like that which is really pulling my wires right now because I am like soo fucking nervous for the fact that i have to like stand in front of a crowd of 15 million (or so) students and effing "hear" their creepy thoughts...

Man am I in an effed up situation... And there is this man who is like staring at my computer and like trying to effing investigate what i am up to... as if i am effing watching porn or crap like that! And so i am like inadvertently expecting new students to come (international mind you) and all I get is a bunch of Freaking M****s that we see everyday anyway...i mean BRING ON THE NEWBIES effers!!!

Please excuse my swearing...why? because i just feel like it today... maybe its the Jay and silent Bob movie affecting me....bajabers! Last night I SMS'd a guy (he's an emcee mate of mine) lets call him Pockface, why? cos his face is soo full of pockmarks!! EW! Though Omaira** keeps insisting that he is such a cutie when really he's NOT! Whats going through my head right now? Random things and mixed up words like emo/fuck/shit/dick/esheslotten/jack/Chris...etc. i dunno why they rumble through my head like that...

Oh! and one of my friends...u needn't know who...has a crush on my VERY TALL friend named Turkey** and she keeps denying it... how do i know that she crushes him? Because she constantly talks about him....word!

We are currently in Holidays and its soooo boooriiinggg.... wanna know how my holidays went? here's how...

On the first day of holidays we traveled to the exotic (pfffttt), aromatic (gag) and serene (i got that right!) area or rather university called UIA Gombak... I went with Omaira** as we had nothing to do the whole time, so we decided to visit Gombak... but we never knew what was in store for us there...

We took the UIA Nilai bus and traveled until we reached Universiti Station. There we bought train tickets- one way- to Terminal Putra, which is the last station on the list of stations( it was insanely uncomfortable in the train because there was this uber gross, ugly, old, and physically BIG man behind me and he kept pressing his ginormous stomach onto my back which was like tootally EWW!!), and from there we took the Putra Bus (which cost RM1 for a whole day trip- awesome aiite?) and it took us all the way to Gombak! well that was the high point of our day... I got to know this wonderful girl named Haley** who was Omaira's** country mate. She's really nice to me although I barely exchanged more than two words with her...oh well...

The next day we decided to go to Amelia's house to cop a swim to refresh ourselves. But how did we get there? I Wonder...

We first took the Putra Bus from UIA Gombak to the LRT station... from there we took the LRT to Masjid Jamek. If you think thats is bad, OH MY GOD!!! We had to put up with Butt Clenching, Ass grabbing, Odor reeking adults with their imperviously active and annoying kids who kept effing grabbing people's behinds thinking it was a very good idea to do that in the first place... yeesh! And as if that wasn't bad enough- there was a guy who was standing in fornt of us and HIS BUTT WONT BE STILL!! It keeps jiggling here and there and all that as if he had a needle shoved up his arse!

Anyway, from Masjid Jamek we took the STAR LRT to PWTC and and then from there we went to Amelia's** house, and guess what? R** lives in near her place...creepy much? We waited for our Jene to come down and welcome us (there was a dire need for swipe cards at this point so we couldn't enter). We waited in Berkeley Park and in the end nearly wanted to go to her house when we spotted her downstairs all singlet clad, stomach exposed and very short shorts. WOW! I was quite surprised at first because i didn't think that she would actually go out dressed like that, and baffle me bajabers but she damn well heckin proved me wrong!

We waved her over and she entered the building and asked us what we were doing there. O and i looked at each other and told her that we came to see her (duh!). She smiled her sweet smile and told us that she lived in Westminster Park, NOT Berkeley Park. We smiled sheepishly and laughed at our own silliness and followed her to her place and she welcomed us in..

"My brother and Jene are not home, so i am all alone," she declared to us. And then she told us to surf the net on her brother's computer and that we would go swimming later cos when we arrived she was cleaning the house (very thoroughly mind you!)

[This is the intermission where i tell you something about Amelia** - she's a clean freek! She cannot live in a dirty place unless sit is very thoroughly cleaned with disinfectant and anti- bacterial liquid! She should join those TV Clean freeks in that show How Clean are You? thats on every Friday at Ten pm.]

Then we went swimming later and boy was it refreshing! We took some piccies, splashed water on each other, tried to drown one another in between my futile attempts at trying to swim (that was embarrassing because there were a couple of eight year olds there that were swimming like pros while I was swimming like an impaired fish) Towards the end we noticed a couple of Perverted looking Indian/ Pakistani guys leisurely looking at us in our bras and shortie shorts as if it was some effing free show! We began to feel really uncomfortable undre their( there were more than five of themm- TEN i think!) piercing stares that we stopped swimming and left.

The rest of the day was spent at the Mall (yea, thats right its called THE MALL- ironic right?) eating McD and just loitering around. then we went back to Gombak eager for tomorrow cos we were planning on circling Gombvak and hoarding it for hot senior guys (Mmm...) , but that sam enight we received and SMS form the Ta'aruf committee that we had to go there the next morning ASAP for a meeting. FUCK! What the eff they think they are?

We Grumpily went ther and that is how i ended up in Nilai... and we are sad cos we were planning to go to Angela's**( our roomie) house for another refreshing swim but obviously that turned out to be deep shit! Damn those Ta'aruf Junkies!!!

U know u love love LOVE me,

The Mini Series in The Life of a Pious Socialite(!!!)- Part Three

Well, hello my faithful readers... I know that a fair amount of you out there are avidly reading my blog on my past adventures of the three days.... hm... now where did i leave off the last tim ethat we met...yes...i got it now... we were at the part where Barry** was telling me how beautiful I was and how in much in love with me he was. PUHLEASE! Oh, and just in the case that you forgot the characters in this miniseries, they are:

• ME: I am the one telling this story...there is strictly no need to tell you my name here...

• BARRY**: He is the funnyman in this story, Male, Straight, average heighted...

• OMAIRA**: Small, petite, cute!!!, female, straight...

• AMELIA**: Sexy, smart, HOT, WOW!!, average heighted, female, straight

And finally...

• ANDREW**: tall, wiry, geeky, thin, male, sexual orientation...err...

Well those are the characters that are going to be here until the end of the story.... So we entered the cable car at the skyway and rode in the sky...like, i dont know..., 1,000,000,000 feet away from the sky!!!! and boy was it scary... now this is the part that i have to confess to you readers. I am scared of **********. What? i just said it. What, you want me to SAY it again?!? Are you MAD!!! Fine ok, i will say it again. I am scared of...**********. Huh? i am sorry it seems that the censor button is on... wait...lemme turn it off... there that's better... I am scared of HEIGHTS!! I get Vertigo whenever I am on a VERY HIGH place.

Now anyway, we were in the skyway and I was in between mentally writing my will (just in case the Cable Car crashed and we all died in the process...) and Barry** was annoyingly pestering me with useless details of how the cable car would crash and also of how the we will all die...yeesshhh!!!

Then after the lllllllllloooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg Cable car ride we got off at the First World Hotel (FWH) and then we just went around asking people for directions towards the exit to the outdoor theme park. then we finally found it and then we reached the park and were all like "Whoah!! I wanna go on this...NO! Lets go on that one!... No, that one looks interesting lets ride that one!" yeah. just let us enjoy our kiddie time, please! And so the first ride that we decided to go to was originally the "Flying Coaster" but then the queue was too long and so smelly.. and boy was it progressing soo damn slowly!!!

So we went to the train ride which was where i wanted to ride but Barry** wouldnt let me and so i was stuck with sitting next to him..yeah... as we were moving along i heard a terrified scream behind me and i thought that it was Omaira** and Andrew ** lovin it up in the car behind us but turns out it was Andrew** who was trying to murder Omaira by trying to p[ush her out of the car.....yeeaaahhhh...

ok.

Then we went to the other rides which was really cool except for the constant proddings that i was getting from the annoying kids who were hoping to get away from their embarrasing parents. Oh and there was this one time when i was eating fries and Barry** cruelly removed the tissue upon which my fries were laid and my fries were dirty!!1 Then (according to Omaira**) Andrew seemed to want my fries and when they were dirty he did a double take adn hugrily looked towards his girlfriends fries with the utmost and pitiful look of hunger...

Our journey ended with a bitter taste (at least for me it did...) Anyway it started at the cab... when i say it... i mean my Period.... yea, boys girls have periods be amazed by it...yeah....(this applies to perverts like J**k F****n who perve on my pages for anything to do with the female reproductive system...) and it was sooo painful and for me it was the very first time that it was thgis painful!!! I actually CRIED!!! What SHAME!!!! And then Barry** (for the first time) showed fellings that actually proved he was a complete human ... he actually cared extra extra a lot!!!!

YeahI was alrite after that and then we returned home and saw that if we returned to Nilai, then we will be SUMMONED so we decided to go to PJ campus where the curfew is until 12....so we just hung out at the LRT station and Joked a LOT!!! [Courtesy of Barry**] And then we went and stayed with our good friend Sally** and her roomie Rhinda** and there was where we met our BH [Buah Hati] One and she is one damn cute thing!!!

NAyway, that was the miniseries of my travels....enjoyed it? want more? well you will get more...when i travel again...

so...see ya soon....

U know u love me....

My books of the the Week

Hello. Just in case you are thinking..."what the F*** is up with these books?" i'll let you know that i am a very avid reader and that i LOOVVEEE to read book... some of you nerds out there are probably wondering ..."why the f*** would anyone wanna red books?"... well, readers of my blog... WE READ BOOKS TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE>>>LIKE DUUHHHH! And frankly these are some of the books that i read recently (or am just starting to read). And in my opinion i think that you should grab these books as well. trut me they are good reads....




I am Not in the Mood for Love- by Rachel Gibson.






What are you looking at?- by Donna Jarrell and Ira Sukrungruang











The Take- By Martina Cole...











Books are meant to be read and each book- regardless of whether it is a fairytale or poems or wtv- they reaveal infromations to us...




see ya soon.

The Mini Series in The Life of a Pious Socialite(!!!)- Part Two

Hello, again... well i did tell you that I would in fact be back. And this time its with more interesting juice on my travel to genting . as mentioned before, i did not go there alone...no. i went with my mates-Barry**, Omaira**, Amelia** and Andrew**- and Boy! did we have sooo much fun!!!

Where i left off was the part where we were on the way tehre aiite? ok then .....after we got our bus and Skyway tix (this is the cable car ride...) we boarded the bus and we travelled more than a few miles (i think, i mean u cant really tell cos, there were a LOT of winding paths that we had to go through...) and also according to someone (that would be our roommate Jenna**) said that it would only take VERY few minutes to get there seeing as she always goes there.

In The BUS.
I sat with Omaira**, Amelia** sat with Andrew(!!!), and Barry** sat with some unknown stranger who spent most of the trip...oh, i dont know...DIGGING HIS NOSE!!! when the bus started to leave O and i took photos with our camera phones which was awesome as we had virtually NOTHING to do there....A and A , who were sitting behind us, were in a heated discussion about something (in their Russian dialogue), and B was just listening to music and staring into space and beyond... We decided to take a few pictures just for fun when (as if he had strangely mystical voodoo powers) he turned and so we couldnt snap any...awwww.... Bummer.
O and I basically just talked along the way in between Andrew's** pissing off O by kicking her chair (that was a laugh)!

Out of the BUS and at GENTING
We exited the bus and while other bus passengers were rushing along to God-knows-where and we were just standing there like atrocious morons looking for the next place to head off to... that was all albeit Amelia** complaining about a headache that she was having at that time. We( O and I) accompanied her to a stall that was designed to look like a Double Decker chips bus (You know the one with the stupid red Double decker with the Spongebob-ish smile?Yeah its that one). A bought a bottle of water and some panadol (before that she saw that they sold like ten pills in one packet and so she asked the woman behind the counter a.k.a the Receptionist whether she had packets of two pills; the woman looked at her like as if she just announced that she was sleeping with the First World Hotel Manager and flatly said "No."). Then we exited and entered the Skyway building.

For a few minutes we asked around for where the Skyway was and some people actually gave us direction which, not to be mean but... DIDNT HELP US AT ALL!!! When we finally (Thank God!) found it we literally ran to the spot- only to find that there were, oh i am not really sure...approximately millions of PEOPLE waiting to get in. We all sighed in frustration, but we waited in the queue. The line started to actually move [insert gospel here] and we were picking up speed. When we were actually progressing through the queue, Barry** suddenly leaves the queue and goes to a display window of some shop and observes it...or is it something in it....hm...
and guess what it turns out to be?

PLAYER ONE: Um... A pair of shoes? [an avid shopaholic]
(Ping!)
PLAYER TWO: baseball cards [avid baseball fan]
(Ping!Ping!)
PLAYER THREE: um.. i dont know [an avid moron]
(Ping!Ping!Ping!)

Strike Three... and you're all...OUT!!!! Haha.. the thing that they(now O and Am joined him) were observing with mounting interest was a- SKUNK!!! Yeeaaahhhh..... so we finally made it through the line and climbed the escalator up and as if it wasnt enough that we had to wait with, like a million other people before- there was a VERL LOOOOONNNNGGGGGGG queue there and we were forced to tolerate body odour, stinking breaths and loud voices. All throughout the queue-lining, Barry** kept taking meaningless photos of me and my face and he kept insisting that i am (in his very words) "very beautiful" and " I like you very much" and also, as if that wasnt enough "i love you". i mean, PUH-LEASE! Get a life Barry**...

And so then......

...well, then we.....

...Crap!!!

I just can tell you anymore...why? Because this is a miniseries and to know more you really have to wait for the rest in Episode Three of my travels.

U know u love me.

The Mini Series in The Life of a Pious Socialite (!!!)

Hello. Today is the beginning of the miniseries of the strange instances that happen in my everyday life.....ok. I will start with the time that i went to Genting Highlands with my friends- Omaira**, Amelia**, Andrew** and Barry** (names have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved in this story.) So this was how our time line went.


7:30am

Omaira** and I woke up and to our surprise it was 7:30 am!!! We were supposed to wake up oh...i don't know...30 MINUTES EARLIER!!!But sleep overcame us and we (duh) overslept. And you would have thought that us oversleeping would cause us to HURRY Up and be quick...but no... we were Selamber -ly taking our very sweet time to shower and get prepared and to prim ourselves as if we were attending the Presidents' Birthday Party. Then when we saw the time we quickly rushed and went downstairs to look for a cab.

8.30am

We are standing on te pavement like desperate people waiting and madly waving at the first cabs that pass the vicinity. Gosh! And every cab that passes us ignores the fact that we are practically embarrassing ourselves by waving like lunatics just so that we can get a ride to GENTING WITH THEIR CAB!!! ALL TAXI DRIVERS SHALL DIE!!!

9.00am

We finally got a cab and we listened to the taxi man as he tells us about some random phone voodoo spells that caused people (more than 70 i think) to die. yeah. Although it has BEEN written in the newspaper i find it very hard to believe at all...

9.30am

We have already bought our train tickets and sat in the train...god was that sooo boring... but thank goodness it wasn't strewn with yucky smelling, butt clenching, body pressing people who probably never bathed that morning. EYUCKITY, YUCK, YUCK!! Amelia** sms'd asking us where we were and when we would arrive here. we replied her to hang on and that we would be there in a few minutes...(actually it was a lot of minutes but dang it!). Everything was serene and calm and Omaira and i were having cool convos when Omaira's overprotective (albeit possessive) boyfriend called. he frantically asked where we were and when we would arrive. Crap. after a few seconds he called again and Whoopee- deee-doo! he asked again and again when we would be there (the way he asked would make you think that he was being chased by the bailiffs and also by an Orang Minyak (oily man)and his only hope of being free is if we were there Pronto!).

10.30am

We arrive at the KL Sentral LRT and we meet Amelia** there and all three of us headed to the last station on the LRT map....

11.00am

We finally arrive at the station and as we were expecting to see five guys there (or so we were told) there were just two miserable guys there- Omaira,s** boyfriend Andrew and funny man Barry**. It seemed to be that the other guys who were supposed to be with us- Timothy**, Max** and an unknown Russian guy- couldn't come. Shit! And i was thinking this was my only chance to be have some time with Max**.Dang!


That was how our time line went. From there we took a bus all the way towards the high mountains of Genting Highlands... and then we....

....oh Gosh we.....

...ok we....

...........................wanna know more?

I did tell you that this is a miniseries right? So if you do wanna know more on this all you have to do is wait for me to write the next chapter in my three day travels..


...you know u love me...